I miss… I’m thankful #14

I currently have one part time PA who will soon be leaving to pursue a new career as a paramedic. So, for the past couple of weeks I have been occupied with the necessary task of finding replacement carers. Advertising, interviewing and responding to individuals has taken up most of my time. Therefore blogging was temporarily suspended and the usual Friday post, absent.

I’ve previously touched on the struggles associated with hiring care staff in my open letter to PA’s. As anyone in my position will know, this can be challenging, time consuming, frustrating and stressful. I never wanted the responsibility of being an employer, but unless I use agency care workers, I’m left with no choice.

So, on that note, it seems fitting that this Friday’s post touch on the subject of care:

I miss… the days long past when it was not a necessity for me to employ carers.

Until around ten years ago, my parents were my primary caregivers. Living with them in their home, as I still do, I was reliant on their support. Alas, parents get older and rightfully so, need more time for themselves.

So at the age of 18, I was awarded Direct Payments and officially became an employer to my first PA (an intimidating prospect). At first, she would attend just three mornings a week. Over time, as I got used to this change of routine, and my trust in someone outside our family unit grew, the hours increased to five mornings.

I have since employed several others, and experienced the hiring (thankfully not firing) process a few times over the past decade.

Entrusting my requirements to PA’s is now very much part of my life, yet it’s something I wish I didn’t have to do. I don’t necessarily choose to spend my time with those I employ, it’s simply a case of needs must.

Employing carers is synonymous with scheduling, routine, organisation and discipline. I, as an individual am not synonymous with scheduling, routine, organisation and discipline!

When becoming an employer, as I reluctantly have, you must adapt your lifestyle somewhat (or so I have found). You are responsible for your employees and are obliged to make yourself aware of the legislation involved, since you play a role just as your carers do.

My point here, is that I miss my pre-employer life. I wish I didn’t have to submit timesheets every month, calculate tax and national insurance contributions, ensure I have holiday and sick cover, treat my employees fairly by addressing their needs and concerns – and so on.

I wish I did not have to invite strangers into my home to help with my everyday challenges. I miss being able to stay up at night for as long as I like. I miss not having to plan my days and weeks; What time do I want to get up in the mornings? what time do I want to go to bed?

I’m thankful… that I applied for Direct Payments all those years ago and didn’t delay, since it is much more difficult nowadays.

Direct Payments (UK) is awarded by the local council following an assessment of your needs.

For me the process was fairly straight forward and swift. However, I am aware that for various reasons it is now more strict, time consuming, and arguably more stressful. I have no doubt that had I waited several years to apply, I would not be in the fortunate position I am now with regards to the hours of care I am afforded.

Direct Payments allows me to hire a PA of my choice, whilst also offering my parents a break from their care role.

So, all things considered, though I would rather not have to employ carers, I certainly could not manage without them.

One thought on “I miss… I’m thankful #14”

  1. Thanks for this perspective, Carrie. I, also do not enjoy diarising too much and do enjoy spontaneity. I am lucky that I have my husband to assist me with most of the essential basics but am just looking at “casual”care for when he has to be away for a night or even a full day. There really is a lot to consider and to be forced to be a ‘boss’ and plan activities that for most are not a consideration is pretty frustrating – at best!
    You seem to handle all this with great wisdom and grace. I feel I am learning more about myself and growing more as a person as I hope you feel too. That’s another positive to take from this crummy situation I guess.
    Thanks again and good luck with the new PCA. 🙂

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