Disability & Chronic Illness | Experiencing More Joy

Experiencing more joy might seem a long way off to you, or even impossible to achieve. However, you can improve your happiness simply by adapting your everyday activities, habits and way of thinking. It may sound harsh but it’s important you first choose to stop being a victim of circumstance and start being the hero of your own life!

This is your own unique journey, and you can still make it positive and fulfilling if you are determined enough. Below we have some ideas for finding joy in your everyday life, no matter what your disability, illness or condition. Take a look…

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Don’t Try To Ignore Or Suppress Your Feelings

First thing’s first: you should not suppress or ignore your true feelings when you begin to feel them.
Inflicting self-judgement and criticism will only have a negative impact. However, this is not to say you should force yourself to feel positive all the time – this just isn’t realistic. We all get down and feel lost and hopeless from time-to-time. Allow yourself time to grieve for whatever or whoever you have lost throughout your life.

Healing Is Not Linear

Healing does not happen in a straight line – it isn’t linear or consistent. One day you may feel great, and the next day you might feel worse than ever.
Write Daily Gratitude Lists
It is hugely beneficial to keep a physical record of all that you are grateful for. Try to get into a regular habit of doing this everyday. It will keep your mind focused and positively proactive.

You might be grateful for your job, friends, family, your home, health and so on. These are just a few ideas to get you started. Try to be specific and review how many different things you can come up with each time you write your gratitude list.

Setting Daily Goals

When you get up each morning, try to set an intention for your day. How do you want to feel today? Is there a specific task or chore you’d like to accomplish? Setting daily goals or intentions can help your day run smoother. As a result, you should find yourself making faster progress towards improving your mood and well-being.

Appreciate At Least Three People Every Day

Whether it’s your partner or a considerate stranger – nurture the important relationships in your life.
Are you appreciative of the people who perform your home care services?
Appreciate The Small Things
You don’t have to have lots of money, possessions and exciting things going on in your life to feel good about it. Appreciating the really small things is important too. Whether you’re reading a good book, chatting with a friend, enjoying a hot cup of coffee or simply watching your favourite TV show – find the enjoyment and fulfilment. The way you frame things in your mind has a lot to do with how happy you feel each day.

Learn To Love And Accept Yourself

Most people find this tough, let alone those with limitations who maybe struggle with things that others don’t. Learning to love and accept yourself will likely be one of the toughest things you set out to do, but it’ll be one of the most worthwhile and important. Don’t compare yourself to others, and find things that you really love and appreciate about yourself every day.

Becoming your own best friend will enable you to always feel comfortable in your own company and never feel the need to escape from yourself.

Join A Support Group

If you want to meet like minded people and share stories and advice, joining a support group could be a great idea. Check out support groups in your area and visit them to see how you feel.

Accept Help If You Need It

If you need help, please don’t be afraid to ask for it – it DOES NOT make you weak. Taking care of yourself and getting other people to help take care of you, whether mentally or physically, is nothing to be ashamed of – quite the opposite. It’s natural to want to maintain as much independence as possible. However, seeking appropriate help and support will allow you to do this for much longer.

Develop New Hobbies And Find Things That Make You Truly Happy

Developing new hobbies is a wonderful way to find happiness. Perhaps you could join a book club, learn to play an instrument, write poetry, paint, draw or do something else with your time – whatever you want to do, just give it a try!

Exercise In A Way That’s Possible For You

You may not be able to exercise much, if at all, but there are likely a few things you can do. Rolling your feet in a circle or moving your head from side to side, for example. Whatever physical activity that is within your limits, do it regularly.

Eat Well

Eating healthily will make you feel good from the inside out. Learn how to read and understand nutritional labels and aim to get plenty of vitamins and minerals into your diet.

3 Great Ideas For A Stay At Home Date

The dating world is a bit of a minefield, but it can be especially difficult if you have a disability. Unfortunately, there is still a lack of awareness and much stigma around some lesser known disabilities.

Able-bodied people may be unsure about acknowledging their date’s disability, for fear of causing offence. This lack of understanding, awareness and confidence often leads able-bods to avoid dating disabled people.

Regardless of ability or circumstance, there are great dating coaches out there who can offer guidance and support.

You might feel more comfortable, confident and secure in your own home, and therefore prefer to date in this familiar setting rather than in public. Let’s not forget, going out to eat at a restaurant is expensive when you factor in drinks as well. You might not be able to afford such a social luxury, thus adding even more stress to the situation. For this reason, conducting your dates from date home is sometimes better.

Of course, it’s not sensible or advisable to first meet somebody at your home (even if you’ve spoken on the phone). But once you feel safe, reassured and familiar with each other, a date night at home could a viable and appealing option.


Here are some great ideas for a stay-at-home date:

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Themed Movie Nights

A movie night is the classic at-home date idea, but why not take it to the next level and give it a bit of a theme? Pick a movie series or genre you both love and hold an all-night movie marathon. Order a takeaway (to make life a little easier) or maybe cook your signature dish to impress your date.

Watching a French film, why not cook some French food to go with it? Make it more of an occasion!

Cooking together is another fun idea – it’s romantic and will encourage bonding, interaction and tactility.

Turn Your House Into A Wine Bar

Going to a fancy wine bar may seem great, but it’s going to cost a fair amount of money. However, if buying booze from the supermarket, you could create a mini wine bar of your own. Get a few different bottles, they don’t have to be expensive, and maybe splash out on a classic bottle of moet chandon to make the night extra special.

Games Night

This is a particularly good idea if you’re nervous about a date and want to make it a bit more casual. Invite other couples along and have a games night. This way, you’ll still be able to spend time with your date in a fun setting, minus the added pressure of being alone. Being part of a larger group will aid social interaction and enable the conversation to flow more freely and without any potential awkwardness.

So, as you can see, stay-at-home dates can be just as fun, engaging and romantic as going out, (and they’re a lot cheaper too, which is always a bonus!).

You Got A Friend In Me: The Importance Of Social Connections For The Chronically Ill

Isolation and loneliness are issues affecting many people living with chronic illness. You may live in central London, surrounding by people and yet still feel completely alone and separate from the outside world. Anxiety, depression and other mental health conditions, along with physical limitations can make it incredibly challenging to leave home. However, social interaction and the opportunity to form meaningful relationships is something we all need.

Read on to find out why and how to nurture more of this in your life, no matter what physical and mental health issues you are facing.

Companionship

Even those of us who enjoy our own company and identify as introverts, experience a sense of loneliness from time to time. Ultimately, we all benefit from and appreciate the bonds of friendship, family and loved ones with whom we can connect, interact and share our lives.

Life with chronic illness can be isolating for a number of reasons. It is difficult, sometimes impossible to be spontaneous and free. As a consequence, one’s social life is often impacted. You end up missing out on events, occasions and turning down invitations even though you may not want to. Furthermore, it can be hard for other people, who have no knowledge or experience with chronic illness, to understand what you are going through and why you are unable to involve yourself as fully as you’d like to.

It is therefore useful to find a real-life group or an online forum that is focused on the specific condition(s) you live with. This will help provide support and information, enabling you to better manage your issues, whilst also connecting you with others in a similar position.

Support

Of course, it’s not just companionship that makes social connection vital to those suffering from chronic conditions. Many of us need other people in our lives to support us directly with day-to-day activities.

This takes many different forms – from employed support workers to help with personal tasks like washing, dressing and feeding, to family members who voluntarily play their part. Others in your life may take on a less direct, but still supportive role in helping out with childcare, for example. They might even assist financially, by offering to be a guarantor should you need a loan. Find out who can be a guarantor by clicking on the link.  This option is worthy of consideration, especially if you are unable to work full-time because of your condition.

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Perspective

Finally, personal relationships and social connections are so important because they give us perspective. After all, it is often all too easy to fall into a negative thinking pattern when you have a chronic illness. But interacting with as many people as possible, both in real life and via social media, will offer comfort, companionship and the realisation that we are not alone in feeling low, frustrated and isolated.

In addition, pursuing social connections in this way can present us with the rewarding and mutually beneficial opportunity to reach out to help other people. Something that can help tip the balance from feeling like we are a passive sufferer, to someone who is making a valuable contribution to society.

Working Through Chronic Pain

Working full time is the goal for most of us – to earn our own money, pay the bills, put our skills and knowledge to good use, in addition to contributing to society. But for those who deal with chronic pain each and every day, this is not so easy to achieve.


Living with chronic pain can be debilitating, difficult to manage, incredibly stressful and for some it is sadly all-consuming. It is hard to focus on anything other than how you feel, thereby potentially affecting your personal and professional life, as well as your mental health and wellbeing.

No one wants to be out of work due to ill health. Aside from the obvious financial gain; work provides a purpose, opportunities to socialise, integrate with peers and further your own personal development.

Whether you commute or work from home, it’s important to find the method of pain management that suits you. Chronic pain can manifest in many ways, and as such there are several forms of treatment including medication, heat pads and even CBD oil.

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How to work through the pain:

Begin your day with strength and positivity: Try listening to motivational podcasts before bed or first thing in the morning. This will aid your mental health and encourage determination and perseverance to help you make it through the day.

Set the alarm: Seems obvious, right? But in all seriousness, this is an important step. An alarm will provide that extra nudge to get you out of bed. Position the alarm out of reach so that you’re unable to hit the snooze button or knock it over in frustration.
The earlier you start the day, the more time you have to prepare yourself physically and mentally. Rushing around will only add extra stress and inevitably exacerbate your chronic condition.

Learn to stretch: You might stretching is a bad idea for anyone living with chronic pain. However, in consultation with doctors and specialists, it can be of great benefit to devise a plan to stretch and exercise each day.
Stay as mobile and active as possible, but be sure to reserve energy and rest when necessary. Don’t force yourself to work through unbearable pain. This is counter-productive.

Comfort: Pay attention to your working environment – introduce furnishings and features for optimum comfort. Think about seating, cushions, footrests/stools and massagers.
Consider consulting an occupational therapist who will help to make your working life as easy as possible. If that means adding eight cushions of varying
firmness to your office chair, then do it!


Planning and preparation will result in good performance at work, despite constant chronic pain. Of course, it is sadly the case that many sufferers will never be completely rid of pain. But in order to work, and to work to the best of your ability, you need to formulate an individually tailored method of management. There is no ‘one fits all’ solution.

Living Well | Making a property into an accessible home

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It’s fair to say that most of us dream of buying our own home, right? That first step on the property ladder is an exciting milestone in our lives. It is representative of independence, responsibility and yes, becoming a ‘real’ adult!

However, for many it can be a lengthy and stressful process. Finding a suitable property in the right location, and at an affordable price is not easy, particularly for today’s generation.

For those of us with a disability, the task is far greater. To some, being able to live independently in your own home, whether renting or buying, feels like an unreachable goal. If and when you’re able to find a property to suit your requirements, you then face the inevitable task of adapting it to ensure it’s fully accessible.

While this can be daunting and even off-putting, if you choose to take a positive perspective, it could be considered a fun, and thoroughly rewarding project.
Remember, you don’t necessarily need to wait for an accessible property to become available. Alternatively, why not find the home you love and adapt it so that it’s perfect for you.

1. Taking Your Time

Perhaps most importantly, don’t rush the process (tempting though this may be). Of course, we’re all impatient to leave the family nest and move into our own place. This is major undertaking (particularly for disabled people) and a great expense, therefore it needs to be done right. It may take months, it may take years! Believe me, I know how disheartening the waiting game can be. But is really is essential to take your time.

2. Consulting A Contractor

Once you have found a suitable property, where applicable, the next step is to consult contractors (ie. builders). If structural work is necessary, seek advice and obtain quotes from at least three builders. I would also advise checking out a range of accessible homes. This will provide information and inspiration, thereby enabling you to plan your new home effectively.

3. Estimating The Budget

Obviously, there is no point obtaining quotes and making calculations if you are unaware of your overall personal budget. It is imperative, from the start, that you establish an estimated budget, and that you stick to it. You could fund the adaptations using savings, your original house buying budget, or you may choose to investigate the option of long term loans. Either way, ensure you have a genuine estimated budget.

4. Making It Your Own

When modifications are required to make a home accessible, it will affect the physicality and aesthetic of the property. For example; ramps, wider doors, level access, hand rails, lifts, lowered units and ceiling track hoists – these are all very visible features. You may feel like you are having to forego style and character in favour of practicality – and it’s okay to feel that way. But regardless of the extent of the adaptations, you can always make your mark. With a little planning and creativity, you really can make an accessible property your own. Have fun with furnishing and decorating your new home.

5. Making Room For Your Things

Whilst working with professionals (occupational therapists, builders etc) who will help to adapt the property to your specific needs, you’ll also want to make sure there is room for your personal items and equipment. Make a list of everything you will need to store – from wheelchairs to hoists.
At the end of the day, thorough planning is key! Prepare, plan and be patient…

Inclusion in the Workplace: Improvements

While some progress is being made to accommodate disabled employees, there is still much more that could be done to help us to feel comfortable, confident and able to perform most effectively, at work.

This post highlights three crucial changes that need to take place to promote inclusivity within the workplace.

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1. Better help for those with hidden disabilities:

It is evident that wheelchair-users, like myself, need physical modifications such as accessible desks, ramps at entrances and exits, and lifts. But, due to a lack of information and awareness, those with hidden disabilities are still being denied access to the minor adaptations required to enable their working day.

For example, some people with debilitating anxiety conditions can find it incredibly difficult to work in an open-plan environment. Providing a private space or even desk screening can resolve this issue, thereby enabling optimum productivity. However, some businesses would rather maintain their open plan aesthetic than implement these simple adaptations in order to assist disabled employees.

2. Inclusive bonding activity and rewards:

There is currently a lot of focus on workforce team bonding activities, since this has been found to be a successful method of encouraging inclusion. However, many of these activities are physically demanding ie. assault courses and river rafting – totally unsuitable for wheelchair-users and those with physical disabilities.

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Of course, there are many more inclusive bonding activities, accessible to everyone regardless of ability. For instance, hosting a Weekly Quiz would unite team members whilst also providing a stimulating, competetive challenge. Then there are shared, adrenaline-fuelled experiences like skydiving, indoor skydiving and sailing. All of these sports cater for people with a diverse range of disabilities.

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Believe it or not, bonding activities can be tailored to the needs of the individual, and made more inclusive through various adaptations.

So-called ‘escape rooms’ are increasing in popularity. Players are locked in and must work together as a team, solving puzzles and riddles in order to escape before their allotted time is up! These ‘escape rooms’ are fun, exciting and can be easily adapted for those with disabilities.

If you are feeling particularly creative, you can following the guidance here and devise your own unique, inclusive bonding experience. This way, you can ensure it will be perfect for all involved.

3. The opportunity to prove ourselves, just like everyone else:

Though it should really go without saying; as disabled people, we want the opportunity to prove ourselves, just like everyone else.

We don’t want token gestures from employers. Disabled people are skilled, talented, capable and willing to work hard. We can offer a unique perspective and want to prove our value as employees. We want to be there because we have a genuine contribution to make, and we want to be taken seriously in what we say and do professionally.

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The important issue of workplace inclusion is something that requires immediate attention. Both employers and employees need clear access to information and education. Knowledge will promote confidence, which is essential for disabled people to access employment and for career progression.

The Beginners Guide: Coping with a Hidden Disability

Not all disabilities are visible. Right now, you could be sitting next to someone who is living with a form of significant impairment, and you would never know by appearances alone. Alternatively, you yourself may be one of many people with an invisible disability, trying to navigate the challenges of daily life.

Either way, it is both advisable and beneficial to gain an understanding of the coping mechanisms, and the ways in which people living with invisible disabilities overcome the obstacles of daily life.

Seeking help:

It is often the case that those with a hidden disability, disease or disorder do not seek the help and support they so desperately need.

If, for example, no one sees your need to repeatedly check the front door before leaving (OCD), or that you have to sleep for an entire day after a brief shopping trip (Chronic fatigue), or that you need a glass of vodka before leaving home (Alcoholism); a genuine disability can be easily dismissed as nothing important/serious. Thus you endure, often alone, and continue with life and the issues associated with invisible disabilities/disorders.

Though your condition is not visible, it will inevitably impact and affect your quality of life and, to an extent, the lives of those around you. Sadly, it isn’t something that will just go away on its own accord either. Therefore, it is vital to seek help and advice. Whether that is finding somewhere like the Ana Treatment Centres, visiting the doctor to be screened for a particular condition, or even contacting a charity to assist with acquiring an official diagnosis.

Telling friends and family:

Informing friends and family of your hidden disability/disorder/illness can be another major challenge to overcome. You may worry that you won’t be believed, or that your nearest and dearest think you are just being lazy or making it up. Furthermore, you may not wish to bother or burden them. Perhaps you feel too embarrassed or self-conscious to share and openly discuss such a vulnerable part of your identity with others.

Of course, the decision to let people in your life know about your condition needs to come from you. It is important to remember that it’s completely fine if you don’t want certain people to know. You will find though, as a general rule, those who truly care will take the time to find out more about your disability/disorder/illness, and support you in any way they can.

Boundaries and limits:

When it comes to invisible disabilities, the expectations of the outside world, and even your demands on yourself, can often be in direct contrast to what you are able to do. This isn’t to say you should self-impose limitations and restrictions.

There are many, many disabled people out there pushing boundaries and living exciting, adventurous and fulfilling lives!

Unfortunately, it is not uncommon for people to react with confusion or frustration when your hidden condition dictates that you cancel/change your plans at the last minute. In this situation, it is advisable to draw on all your self-confidence and establish personal boundaries rather than adapting to the demands of other people. Finally, try to avoid conforming to pressure and societal expectations.