Decisions & Difficult Discussions

As a powerchair-user with congenital muscular dystrophy, I am at high-risk of developing serious complications should I contract Coronavirus.

So, I’m kinda hoping I don’t!

As much as I love them and couldn’t be without them, my folks have adopted a rather casual attitude towards the whole situation, disregarding it as, “just one of those things”.

I won’t sugar-coat, there have been arguments and tears of frustration. It’s pretty tense and stressful in our house at the moment, as I’m sure it is for many.

My big bro called the ‘rents a few times to enforce the importance of social distancing. It is comforting to have some back-up, especially coming from my great defender!

Sometimes, I do feel like I’m banging my head against a brick wall.

It was only on Saturday night that my Mom announced, “I’ve never known anything like this in my lifetime”.

It really was a light-bulb moment! The seriousness of the current situation seemed to finally hit home.

My brother is a teacher, his wife a business woman, and my two year-old nephew, who I see every week, attends nursery. They are therefore in contact with many different people on a daily basis.

Naturally, this lead to discussions about what we do going forward. He basically told me, “it’s your call!”.

Now, I’m not remotely materialistic and am somewhat an introvert. Missing out on holidays, going to the cinema, to restaurants, pubs and shops doesn’t particularly bother me. It isn’t forever.

All that really matters to me is the people I love – soppy cow! To be without them really is a killer!

It’s a case of weighing up the risks, being safe and sensible but also not denying ourselves life itself.

So, this week, instead of having my gorgeous nephew at home with us, we’re going for a woodland walk. We will be enjoying each other’s company, while keeping a “safe” physical distance.

My nephew on a woodland walk
My nephew on a woodland walk
My nephew on a woodland walk
My nephew on a woodland walk
My black Labrador walking down a country lane
My black Labrador walking down a country lane

It will, no doubt, be a challenge with an affectionate little boy who doesn’t understand what’s going on (and, thank feck he doesn’t!).

But, at the end of the day, it is what it is. We’ve all got to make do and get on with it, in the best way possible.

A motivational quote from Frida Kahlo
A motivational quote from Frida Kahlo

World Book Day

Thursday 5th March 2020

My good friend and fellow wheelie wench, Lucy Hudson, is a published author!

Lucy, who also has a form of muscular dystrophy, is genuinely one of the most kind, caring and clever people I have ever known.

As today is World Book Day, I thought I would encourage you all to check out the two poetry anthologies she co-wrote with writer, Justin Brown.

Front cover of 'Wheels of Motion', a poetry anthology by Justin Brown and Lucy Hudson
Front cover of ‘Wheels of Motion’, a poetry anthology by Justin Brown and Lucy Hudson
Back cover of 'Wheels of Motion', a poetry anthology by Justin Brown and Lucy Hudson
Back cover of ‘Wheels of Motion’, a poetry anthology by Justin Brown and Lucy Hudson

Click here to buy!

Front cover of 'On The Road To Somewhere', a collection of poems by Justin Brown and Lucy Hudson
Front cover of ‘On The Road To Somewhere’, a collection of poems by Justin Brown and Lucy Hudson
Back cover of 'On The Road To Somewhere', a collection of poems by Justin Brown and Lucy Hudson
Back cover of ‘On The Road To Somewhere’, a collection of poems by Justin Brown and Lucy Hudson

Click here to buy!

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The Girl on the Train: British Book vs. American Adaptation

Theatre Review | Birmingham Hippodrome

Product Review | Independent Living

I was recently sent a few products to try, by the lovely folk at Manage At Home and PETA [UK] LTD.

The Easi-Grip kitchen items are designed to help older people, and those like me with a disability, prepare and cook food independently.

Easi-Grip Food Preparation Board

Easi-Grip Food Preparation Board
Easi-Grip Food Preparation Board

This stylish food preparation board, made from sustainable Rubberwood, is a multi-purpose, top quality kitchen aid.

I was so impressed with this piece! It is really attractive and doesn’t look at all like a standard disability aid.

Easi-Grip Food Preparation Board
Easi-Grip Food Preparation Board

It is designed for those with weak hand function, including impaired grip, poor hand control and tremors.

Slicing a sweet potato using the multi-purpose Easi-Grip food prep board
Slicing a sweet potato using the multi-purpose Easi-Grip food prep board

Using only one hand, the Easi-Grip board allows you to grate and slice food effortlessly. The spiked area ensures food is kept in place for peeling and cutting.

Easi-Grip Food Preparation Board
Easi-Grip Food Preparation Board

Several essential items all-in-one: Stainless steel fine/coarse graters, slicers, collecting bowl, spiked area, and long-lasting wooden board.

I have muscular dystrophy ~ contractures, poor grip, and very little strength. Despite this, I found the Easi-Grip food prep board really easy to work with, and a huge asset. I no longer need to ask for any help, which is a big deal for me!

My mum, who has osteoarthritis, loves this equally as much as me! Suffering with joint pain and stiffness, she found it significantly easier to use than regular kitchen tools.

Easi-Grip Knives

Easi-Grip Knives 1. Bread knife 2. Carving knife 3. All purpose knife
Easi-Grip Knives 1. Bread knife 2. Carving knife 3. All purpose knife

This popular trio of knives has undergone a recent design revamp – the ergonomic handles are now thicker, making them easier and more comfortable to use.

The bright lime green areas indicate the “soft-feel” non-slip areas, as well as making them a bit more modern and aesthetically appealing compared to standard kitchen knives!

Demonstration of the Easi-Grip knife being used to cut a vegetable on the Easi-Grip food prep board
Demonstration of the Easi-Grip knife being used to cut a vegetable on the Easi-Grip food prep board

I would highly recommend all of these products to anyone, regardless of (dis)ability. They are top quality items and I am so thankful to Manage At Home and PETA [UK] LTD for sending them to me. I love to cook, and these kitchen aids have made life a little easier for me.

*Disclaimer*

This post is in collaboration with Manage At Home and PETA [UK] LTD. The products were gifted to me in exchange for an honest review. Opinions expressed are entirely my own.


Many thanks to Manage At Home and PETA [UK] LTD

Related Blog Posts:

Product Review | Bellavita Bath Lift from Manage At Home

Memory Lane | Child of the 90s

Though I still look about twelve (woo! 🙄), I’m actually now the grand old age of 31; A true child of the 90s.

A friend and I were recently gabbling away and reminiscing about things from our childhood.

Some were great! And others were…not so great.

Do you remember any of these..?

Babyliss Hair Straighteners/Crimpers

Image Description: Babyliss hair straighteners/crimpers from the late 1990s
Image Description: Babyliss hair straighteners/crimpers from the late 1990s

Many years before obscenely priced GHDs became the go-to hair straightener of choice, we had this bad boy!

A multi-purpose hair straightener/crimper, this clumpy contraption took about an hour to reach a lukewarm temperature. We then had to clamp each section for…oh, flippin’ ages!

Quite why we wanted to crimp our hair, I don’t know. But at the time, we thought we looked ace! On reflection…not so much.

Tammy Girl

Image Description: Tammy Girl shop front
Image Description: Tammy Girl shop front
Image Description: Classic Tammy Girl T-shirt
Image Description: Classic Tammy Girl T-shirt

I kid you not; I owned this very T-shirt and many like it, courtesy of the (not at all) classy pre-teen clothing store, Tammy Girl. Oh yeeaah!

Sadly, Tammy is no longer. I can’t think why.

Despite not wearing cool and funky clothes like this now I’m in my thirties, I remain a ‘babe with attitude’. Well, sorta!

Impulse O2 Body Spray

Image Description: Impulse O2 shower gel (left) and O2 body spray (right)
Image Description: Impulse O2 shower gel (left) and O2 body spray (right)

Bloody loved this stuff!! How I miss the lingering, intense scent of ethanol and limes.

Whyyyy it was discontinued, I’ll never know.

BRING IT BACK, IMPULSE!!

We don’t all want to smell of white musk (eau de old lady)!

Girl Talk Magazine

Image Description: Front cover of an issue of Girl Talk magazine from the 1990s
Image Description: Front cover of an issue of Girl Talk magazine from the 1990s

A highly educational read for pre-teen Carrie!

Every issue of Girl Talk came with freebies, like miniature furry photo frames (we all love those, right?), and posters of goats and donkeys.

I do like to lay in bed at night and gaze at a donkey poster, don’t you?

Animal Ark Books

Image Description: A collection of books from the Animal Ark series by Lucy Daniels
Image Description: A collection of books from the Animal Ark series by Lucy Daniels

Now, I had forgotten about these books (sacrilege!), until my mate asked, “did you read those rubbish animal stories that were all the same?”

Yes. Yes, I did.

No disrespect to author Lucy Daniels, but I don’t think she’s ever gonna take down J. K. Rowling with these riveting tales of piglets and pussies.

Blockbuster Video Store

Image Description: Blockbuster video store shop front. "Closing Down" posters shown in the windows
Image Description: Blockbuster video store shop front. “Closing Down” posters shown in the windows

Who remembers VHS? Anyone..? I genuinely miss video tapes and cassettes. You could chuck them on the floor and they’d still be good to go.

What I miss even more is going to Blockbuster on a Friday, after school, to rent a video for the weekend.

Simple pleasures. Happy days.

Woolworths

Image Description: A woman selecting sweets from a Pic'n'Mix display at Woolworths
Image Description: A woman selecting sweets from a Pic’n’Mix display at Woolworths

Need I say anything for this one?!

RIP Woolworths. What has the world come to?!

Kids today are truly missing out.

Lifts/Elevators | Wheelchair Life

Image Description: A wheelchair-user is seen facing a lift/elevator full of able-bodied people. Caption reads, "to you it's the easy way. To him, it's the only way".
Image Description: A wheelchair-user is seen facing a lift/elevator full of able-bodied people. Caption reads, “to you it’s the easy way. To him, it’s the only way”.

As a non-ambulatory wheelchair-user for the past two decades, I’ve experienced many frustrating encounters with lifts/elevators.

~ Being unable to fit inside because they’re occupied by physically fit (lazy, ignorant) able-bodied people

~ Getting stuck in them (once on a very old ferry!)

~ Getting stuck out of them (broken/out of service)

~ Waiting, waiting, waiting…

Image Description: Closed lift/elevator doors with a sign above displaying the words, "lift not in service"
Image Description: Closed lift/elevator doors with a sign above displaying the words, “lift not in service”

As a teenager, I went shopping to my local TJ Hughes store (super cool!), which was on three floors. It was a crappy old lift but nevertheless I travelled to the top floor because, well, I wanted to!

When I came to use the lift again, it wouldn’t work – it was completely unresponsive.

Unable to walk at all, I was stranded on the third floor in my manual wheelchair.

More than a little irritated, I started hammering the call button on this lift, “you WILL bloody work!!”
It didn’t.

Image Description: 'No Entry' barriers surrounding an out of service lift/elevator. A repair man is trying to fix the lift.
Image Description: ‘No Entry’ barriers surrounding an out of service lift/elevator. A repair man is trying to fix the lift.

At this point, I was left with no other option than to be manually carried down two flights of stairs by a member of staff. Talk about awkward!

Well, it was either that or, frankly, I’d probably still be stuck there now.

Thankfully, I’m teeny tiny, my wheelchair was lightweight and foldable, and the guy who carried me was young and smelt amazing! I was tempted to ask what he was wearing but thought better of it. I’m not that weird…

It was fortunate that I wasn’t in my current powered wheelchair. If I had been, I honestly don’t know what would have happened…forever stranded in TJ Hughes!

It’s a memory that’s imprinted on my mind. It shouldn’t have happened, it was annoying, undignified, embarrassing and yes, at the time, I was thoroughly pissed off!

Although, on reflection, it is pretty funny. Got to laugh, right!

Of course, it made me wary of using lifts in the future. But I really don’t have a choice! I’m not going to avoid them and miss out just in case something bad happens.

It’s inconvenient at the time but always resolvable.

IF I do ever get stuck again, well, then I’ll worry about it…IF.


Side note ~ If you are fit and able, and have two fully-functioning legs, please use them! Kindly take the stairs and let those in need access the lifts/elevators. Ta muchly!

February | Love & Kindness

This month, we’ve embraced/endured Valentine’s Day, and celebrated Random Acts of Kindness Day.

Screenshot from @MDBloggersCrew Twitter feed, from Random Acts of Kindness Day.

All of this has made me think about relationships and what they really mean.

Valentine’s Day Selfies

Funny Valentine's meme

We’ve all seen couples posting impossibly idealistic, airbrushed selfies on social media, making us believe their lives together are perfect and they couldn’t want for any more in a partner.

Ha! Who are you trying to kid? (Call me cynical).

But the truth is, when you live with someone, whether it be family, friends or a partner, you will inevitably, at times, rub each other up the wrong way and fall out. To think otherwise is, frankly, naive.

They may be senseless, petty disagreements or more serious conflicts. The important thing to consider is how you react and resolve such issues.

As the saying goes, never sleep on an argument. It may seem daft, but it’s true. An unresolved argument will just fester away.

It’s Good to Talk

Some people, somewhat understandably, choose to avoid any sort of conflict and refuse to acknowledge tension within their relationships; sweeping it under the carpet. This isn’t a healthy approach.

If you have a grievance, talk about it calmly and reasonably. Share your worries and concerns with friends, family and loved ones. Don’t bottle things up. Again, it will just fester away resulting in bitterness and resentment.

It’s Really Okay to Disagree!

We can’t all be the same. If we were, life would be very boring. You don’t have to like all the same things or agree with everything those around you think and feel in order to love them. I repeat; to think otherwise is, frankly, naive.

#BeKind

Kindness isn’t agreeing when you don’t, or avoiding potentially difficult conversations just to keep the peace. Kindness isn’t pretending to enjoy things you don’t simply to please others. Kindness isn’t inflating another person’s ego to make them feel good.

Kindness within relationships is about respecting each other’s views, differences, individuality and needs. It’s accepting that we are all flawed and forgiving sincere mistakes. Kindness is about caring enough to keep each other safe, supported and grounded.

New Year, More Me!

We’re now in the midst of January, and many are following a “new year, new me” health and fitness regime.

Most of us over-indulge at Christmas. Too much rich food and too much booze.

Everywhere you look, it seems people are trying to lose weight and tone-up. Fair play to them! Do what makes you feel good.

But just to break the trend, here I am trying to put on weight!

Okay, so…I’m teeny tiny. Pixie sized! My weight has always been fairly consistent and never really fluctuated.

Of course, my condition influences this. Muscle weighs vastly more than fat, right? Well, I have very little muscle mass. And so my BMI is always going to be much lower than the average.

I won’t lie, I’ve always consciously monitored my weight and my calorie intake. Not due to vanity, but practicality.

I am non-ambulant and therefore cannot transfer independently. I get thrown around a lot! From chair to chair, chair to bed etc. If I were significantly heavier, life would be much more difficult!

People who struggle to lose weight often ask me how I stay so tiny, considering I’m unable to exercise. Well…

~ Growing up with older brothers helps! I’ve always scraped food off my plate onto theirs. And they were always happy to finish off any food I left.

~ Study food labels and count calories.

~ Self limitation. I’ve almost trained myself to say no when someone offers me chocolate or a biscuit. Bad, I know.

~ It might sound silly but, over time your stomach does shrink and your body adapts. You learn to function on fewer calories.

*Now, to make it absolutely clear, I am in no way dictating, advising or advocating such bad habits! I am very much aware that this is unhealthy behaviour.*

So, why do I now want to put on weight?

When I’m ill, I eat less. When I’m really stressed, I stop eating. In these instances, I am NOT consciously monitoring my weight.

Over the past 2 months, I have unintentionally lost weight. This will no doubt affect my overall health and wellbeing, reducing energy levels and leaving me vulnerable to infection and illness.

Believe it or not, increasing calorie intake is far more challenging (for me) than you might imagine. It’s difficult to break the habit of a lifetime!

Before, I would go literally all day without eating a thing. No breakfast, no lunch. I would then pick at my dinner and that would be it.

I am now constantly reminding and forcing myself to consume food and drink, little and often, throughout the day.

If I can put on half a stone, I’ll be happy. I’ll still be skinny, but I’ll be healthier. That can only be a good thing!

Physical Health & Mental Health

Physical disabilities/impairments and mental health issues are not mutually exclusive!

Many people, like me, living with disabilities and chronic illnesses are affected by stress, anxiety or depression at some point in their lives.

This is not to say that the disability/impairment, whether temporary or permanent, is the primary cause of the mental health issue. It could be a contributing factor, or they may be completely unrelated. You might just be super lucky and have been blessed with both – Double whammy!

Equally, those struggling with their mental health will often (if not always) experience physical side effects, such as headaches, fatigue, insomnia, restlessness, nausea and chest pains.

Essentially, what I’m saying is, the mind affects the body and so the body affects the mind.


My Disability & Point of View

I was born with a rare form of muscular dystrophy – a physical disability – that has progressed over time. I am now a non-ambulatory wheelchair-user, having lost the ability to walk at age 10.

My condition has a considerable effect on my body and physical capabilities. With the best will in the world, there are many things I cannot do.

For example, my older brother is very fit and able-bodied. He has travelled the world and often goes trekking through the countryside and climbing mountains.

Last year, he and some mates completed the Three Peaks Challenge in aid of Muscular Dystrophy UK. Gruelling and possibly a little bit crazy, considering the 3 lads did all the driving themselves – but wow!

I often wish I could be out there with him. It might not be everyone’s cuppa, but it would be nice, just once, to experience that sort of thrill and adrenaline rush. A real physical accomplishment whilst being in the midst of nature.

But, I can’t. And I never will. Of course, this gets me down and impacts on my mood. Yes, I wish I could walk, run, dance, be completely independent and spontaneous. But I can’t. I am limited and reliant on support from others to live my life. This is something I have no choice but to accept.

There is no treatment, no cure, and no pill I can pop to help the situation. For lack of a better phrase, it is very much a case of, deal with it!

I cannot control my disability or how it affects my body. Therefore, it is important to focus on the things I CAN do and control.

I can’t dance, so I like to watch the dancing (yes, I’m a sad, old Strictly fan. Don’t care!)

I can’t drive, so I have a passenger WAV (wheelchair accessible vehicle), which allows me to get out and about.

My Motability passenger WAV (Wheelchair Accessible Vehicle)

I can’t walk or run, so I roll (with style)!

Admittedly, I’m pretty crap at sorting my own problems out. So I tend to focus on other people’s 😂 Not necessarily a good thing, but there ya go!


Living with a physical disability is a way of life. It is inflicted on us – we have not chosen this path. Similarly, living with a mental health illness is a way of life. So what you gonna do? ADAPT or Die!

2019: A Year in Review…Sorta!

My little blog consists mostly of disability reviews, guest blogs and interviews with notable disabled people, such as NTA award-winning Emmerdale actor James Moore (check it out, folks!).

In order to raise awareness, I have discussed my own disability (Ullrich congenital muscular dystrophy) and how it affects me, though I’ve always made the conscious decision to avoid talking about anything personal.

People who know me well often describe me as incredibly private and somewhat closed-off. They’re not wrong. But I have my reasons. That said, I’ve been trying to open up a little more and share a closer insight into my everyday life in recent blog posts.


For me, 2019 really has been a year of major highs and lows.
The summer was genuinely the happiest time of my life. Everyone noticed.

Now, I’m the type to roll their eyes at the mention of people “glowing with happiness”, sceptical old bint that I am, but apparently it is a thing.

I was kinda hoping it would last longer than it did. But hey, that’s life.

Soon after my birthday came a swift punch in the gut (not literally, fear not!) and that marked the beginning of one of the unhappiest periods of my life. These things come to try us!

I’m not going to lie, this past month has been pretty crap.

Yeah, Christmas is a time to celebrate, have fun and be with those you love most. But it can also emphasise and remind you of what you’ve lost. And who you’ve lost.

I have some amazing people around me – family and friends. Thanks to those of you who patiently put up with me being a miserable fecker!

Some have offered wise words and advice, some have made me laugh when I really needed to, and others have simply been there to listen. You lot are what life is about (Ooh, deep!).


Let’s get this year out of the way and I promise, in 2020, I’ll pick myself up and get back to “the old Carol” ~ generally pratting about, laughing at inappropriate things and maybe even smiling occasionally 😱


A final word for anyone struggling for whatever reason…

I don’t want to get too serious. After all, it is Christmas – oh, joy!

Life ain’t all shits and giggles. I really wish it was. But it just isn’t.

Sometimes life gives you lemons (bastard lemons!) So what you gonna do? Throw ‘em back even harder, I say.

I may be pixie-sized but I’m pretty damn defiant. I’ve faced a fair few battles over the years. Truth is, the battle never really ends. But you gotta trudge through. What’s the alternative?


When I was 8 or 9, I fell off a horse. The horse decided she’d had enough of this trotting bullshit, and wanted to play silly buggars. She bolted downhill then stopped abruptly, throwing me forward.

I landed with my arse in a muddy puddle and lost my bloody boot. Yeah, I was a bit shook up. But I could either sit in that puddle and sulk (well, I couldn’t get up and walk off!) or get back in the saddle. So, I got back on psycho Sally!

Point is, life can be a bitch, but you gotta carry on and you gotta help yourself. Find what makes you happy and go for it!


I have a few things lined up for the new year, including some truly thrilling blog posts (I can sense the excitement already!).

Merry Christmas, folks. Take care! See you in the new year.

This is my brother’s tree, not mine. His is better! Don’t wanna ruin the aesthetic, y’know.

Mentoring Kids

Very few people know that I used to mentor and teach art to primary school children.

I’ve always found it easy to interact with kids. They say it how they see it – no agenda, no bullshit. And I have a very low tolerance for bullshit!

I’d happily take on a room full of kids over a room full of adults, any day!

I mentored one particular lad for about 18 months. He had just turned 8 when I first met him. He came from a deprived area, one of four siblings, his dad was in prison and his mum…well, let’s just say she wasn’t as conscientious as she should or could have been.

Later down the line, his 12 year-old sister accused one of the younger male teachers of indecent assault. Blimey, I remember that day vividly!

The lad, (let’s call him Bob!), was a lovely kid – really polite, always happy to see me (nice to be appreciated, eh).

Bob really struggled with reading and writing. To begin with, he refused to even try. All he wanted to do was play games. Time for negotiation – reading first, then we play games. He would often look up at me to read out the longer words for him. No mate, give it a try first. Break it down and work it out.

Admittedly, the school books were pretty crap, so I bought some more interesting ones to motivate him. He liked dinosaurs and pirates so that’s what we mostly read about.

I had studied art at university and he soon noticed that I could draw. So from then on, every session – “draw me a dinosaur!”, “draw me a pirate!”

Flipping heck, kid! How about you draw me a dinosaur!

In all honesty, I didn’t mind. It was nice to see him enthusiastic about something.

Despite my very obvious disability, in all that time, Bob never once questioned it – not that I would have minded if he did. From the get-go, I was just Caz the mentor.

He questioned everything else, mind you!!

~ How old are you?
~ What do you do?
~ Are you married?
~ Do you have kids?
~ Why not?
~ Where do you live?
~ Who do you live with?
~ Can I see your ID? (Yes, I showed him my ID to which he responded, “THAT’S NOT YOU!”)
~ What’s your real hair colour?
~ Can you dye your hair so I can see it, please??

NO, KID!!

I miss Bob. Happy days.