Album Review | Tabi ‘I Wrote Life’

I recently had the pleasure of interviewing singer-songwriter and disability activist Tabitha “Tabi” Haly, who, like me, lives with a form of muscular dystrophy.
Tabi performing songs from her debut album
You can read my interview with Tabi here!

Tabi, who has spinal muscular atrophy Type 2 and uses a powered wheelchair, is a 35 year-old musician from New York City. She began singing to exercise her weakened lungs and writes about the physical and social obstacles she faces.

She is already an established performer, having opened the first ever Annual NYC Disability Pride Parade in 2015, followed a year later by her own show, ‘A Concert on Life, Love and Being Different’. In 2017, this show sold out at the Rockwood Music Hall. Tabi has also performed at the Prudential Center and Brooklyn Dodgers stadium.

Her self-penned debut album entitled, ‘I Wrote Life’ covers numerous musical genres and is both uplifting and poignant. With soulful, catchy melodies, this impressive first outing demonstrates artistic skill and authenticity.

The album was produced at Dubway studios by Russell Castiglione, who previously recorded Trey Songz and Norah Jones.

“Producing this album was like helping her tell her story, her struggles, and her achievements to the world and that was very humbling.” ~ Russell Castiglione

It was master engineered by Dave McNair, who has worked on albums by Maroon 5, Cyndi Lauper and the legendary David Bowie !

“Tabi puts her life into her songs. It’s refreshing to hear an artist being so real in their work.” ~ Dave McNair

Track listing for the album ‘I Wrote Life’ by Tabi

Tabi is a talented lyricist and storyteller with a distinctive tone and impressive vocal range. The album is a well-crafted, subtle infusion of R&B, rock, folk, jazz, blues, country, and dance, with a notable 90s pop vibe.

Each track is a candid representation of the different elements of her life. Though revealingly autobiographical, it is also highly relatable, owing to universal themes such as love and loss. The songs ‘I Won’t Hide‘ and ‘I Am Able‘ reveal deep insights about falling in love and healing after a broken heart.

The self-penned album is optimistic and motivational, with songs such as ‘Keep Rolling On‘ inspiring strength and hope in the face of adversity.

The title track ‘I Wrote Life‘ recounts a specific childhood memory, which summarises Tabi’s attitude to life…

“I remember as kids the teacher would say, write on the board a word today, so then everyone wrote their favourite thing, and there I was just imagining, how great it would be to live long and happily”

‘I Wrote Life’ is available NOW at Amazon and Spotify

Tabi with a framed album disc

www.tabinyc.com

Interview | Singer-Songwriter with Muscular Dystrophy

Tabi, who has SMA Type 2, on her debut album, ‘I Wrote Life’

Album cover for ‘I Wrote Life’, by singer-songwriter Tabi

Tabitha ‘Tabi‘ Haly is a 35 year-old singer-songwriter from New York City. She has Spinal Muscular Atrophy Type 2, a progressive condition, causing muscle weakness and contractures.

Tabi cannot walk and therefore uses a powered wheelchair for mobility. She is now unable to use her hands to feed herself and uses voice dictation software. With 24/7 support from “home health aides” and physiotherapy to maintain as much strength as possible, Tabi leads a highly proactive lifestyle.

I recently had the pleasure of talking with Tabi about her music career and debut album entitled, ‘I Wrote Life’, (released January 2019).


Tabi, what and who are your biggest music influences and why?

I grew up listening to classic rock, pop and R&B, but I appreciate all genres. I enjoy catchy, soulful melodies, so that has heavily influenced the songs on my album. I am most inspired by artists who write their own songs because that is what I like to do. I love timeless songs and I feel motivated to write when I hear something that I wish I had written myself. I also admire artists who write about personal experiences.

I love Mariah Carey because she writes songs that touch upon insecurities and feeling like an outcast. She writes about her faith and she has clever lines and an impeccable vocabulary. I also love singer-songwriters such as Anna Nalick, Sara Bareilles, Christina Perri, and Jason Mraz. They write about love and heartbreak, which I can relate to.

I also admire a wide vocal range because it is fun to sing songs that are vocally challenging. That is when my R&B influences come into play. It’s really enjoyable to improvise and jam along. I like to challenge myself in general, so I definitely apply that to my music in terms of the lyrics, melody, and vocal styles.

Tabi performing live in her powered wheelchair

How would you describe your debut album?

I would describe my album as real and soulful. I allowed myself to be vulnerable to reveal my struggles and hopes regarding my disability, love, and life in general. The different subjects lend to the spectrum of dark and light tones.

My album is also fun, diverse, and uplifting! There are a lot of upbeat, empowering songs. People like to dance to them, and it was definitely a blast recording them.

The album is diverse because it crosses multiple genres including R&B, pop, blues, and reggae. It was difficult to select which songs to put on this debut album. Ultimately I wanted to make sure there was something in there for everybody. The order of the tracks matters to me because it tells a story and hopefully feels like you are being taken on a memorable and moving journey.

Tabi proudly holding her framed debut album

How autobiographical is the album, and why was it important to you to write the songs yourself?

This album is my baby! I know people use that term a lot in reference to personal projects, but I intentionally released it on my 35th birthday. At this age, many women, myself included, start to worry if they have not yet had a baby.

SMA presents challenges in every part of my life, but I am highly ambitious and set out to conquer my goals. I haven’t yet had a baby, so until then, this album is my baby. As an artist, it is my portfolio.

This album epitomises all that I have accomplished thus far; buying my own home, getting through college via financial aid and scholarships, having a successful full-time career that allows me to be financially independent, owning my own wheelchair accessible van, volunteering regularly, helping implement change for people with disabilities, writing and managing my music, managing my home health aides, being a motivational speaker, and being able to perform throughout New York City at cafés, bars, church, and schools.

As great as this is, it does cause alot of stress, sweat and tears! So I hope people enjoy the album and heed the message that faith and hard work have afforded me the life I have. This allows me to remain positive and to inspire myself and others.

Tabi smiling on stage, performing songs from her debut album entitled, ‘I Wrote Life’

Is important to you to inspire other disabled people who may have musical aspirations?

It is, especially since we are now at a time where there are so many groundbreaking opportunities. A few years ago, I saw many people with disabilities acting on Broadway, which took my breath away and really inspired me to continue doing what I’m doing. I would love to inspire, or better yet, collaborate with other musicians with disabilities.

During the bridge of my song keep rolling on I sing, “there’s so much left to change, more than we even think. More face in media, presence in arenas”.

Tabi, dressed head-to-toe in purple, holding a card displaying the hashtag #IWroteLife to promote her debut album

Have you faced any opposition, challenges and/or stigma on your journey to becoming a musician, due to your disability?

Surprisingly, the biggest challenge is sometimes getting onto the stage to perform! Most stages are not wheelchair accessible, so I have to be prepared for that. Another major challenge is having less live music venues to choose from because not all of them are wheelchair accessible.

Tabi performing live in NYC alongside her guitarist

How do you overcome these obstacles?

In the early days, I didn’t want that to be an issue or a dealbreaker when pitching to venues to book a show. So I would have my band members and friends lift me in my wheelchair on and off the stage. I have a powered wheelchair that weighs at least 300 pounds! So that was a lot to ask, and I am thankful for the support. This still happens sometimes, but I am now more confident about asking venues to consider investing in a ramp.

There are still the same challenges surrounding the inaccessibility of venues, both for the performers and attendees. I think this is just one of many accessibility issues that exists and for which we need to implement improvements.

You were the opening performer at the first ever Annual NYC Disability Pride Parade in 2015 to celebrate the ADA’s 25th anniversary. How did that make you feel?

That was such an amazing feeling! I had just started using my wheelchair again after having been stuck in bed for a few months due to ill health. So this experience was a huge comeback and it was an honor to be a part of this event. I have to reflect on this sometimes and remember how privileged I was to perform outside, in front of so many people, during the first parade specifically for people with disabilities.


I would like to thank the lovely Tabi for taking the time to answer my questions. Her brilliant debut album, ‘I Wrote Life’ is available to purchase and download NOW!

Follow Tabi on social media:

Twitter  Facebook  Instagram  YouTube

International Women’s Day

8 March 2019 ~ IWD

To celebrate #InternationalWomensDay, here are some motivational words of wisdom from just a few of the many inspiring women throughout history. These women advocate equality, inclusion and disability awareness.

Above: Deaf-blind American author and political activist, Helen Keller (1880 – 1968).

Above: Rosa May Billinghurst (1875 – 1953), was a women’s rights activist known as the “cripple suffragette”. She suffered polio as a child and as a result was left unable to walk.


What #IWD means to me

Light is often shone on independant career women and high-profile personalities: celebrities, public speakers and so-called ‘world changers’. Of course, these women deserve our respect and applause. But I’d like to also draw attention to the every-woman.

The women we are not aware of. The women behind the scenes who just get on with life. The single mum’s. Those living with debilitating conditions who struggle to get out of bed each morning. Those caring for multiple family members, who don’t have the option to go on holiday or pursue a career. Women who are relied upon by disabled children and elderly relatives, and have no support or recognition.

Many suffer and struggle in silence. They simply get on with their lives without any fuss or complaint. These women deserve to be celebrated too! They play a vital role in society – one that takes endurance, tanacity, strength of character and sheer grit. It takes a special kind of person to achieve this.

So remember, you don’t need to change the world to deserve recognition. Being loved unconditionally, appreciated and making a difference to just one person is EVERYTHING.

What does International Women’s Day mean to you?

Valentine’s Special: Part 1

Disability & Dating ~ Q&A

Four women with different forms of muscular dystrophy answer questions on body confidence, dating, sex and relationships…

*Names have been changed

1. Do you identify as a sexual being?

Becky, 22, SMA Type 2: “Of course! I have fully functioning sexual organs and like anyone else, I have sexual desires. Having a physical disability, like mine, does not affect either of those.”

Amy, 30, Congenital Muscular Dystrophy: “Yes, most definitely. We all have wants and desires regardless of our physical abilities.”

Sarah, 27, SMA Type 2: “I’ve always felt like a sexual being and desired an intimate relationship. However, throughout my teenage years and thereafter, I didn’t imagine anyone would want that type of relationship with me, so I relied on myself for any sexual needs.”

Laura, 24, Limb Girdle MD: For years I actually didn’t see myself as a sexual being because I hated my body and I truly believed that no one would ever want to be with me. It wasn’t until I reached my twenties and craved intimacy that I actively searched for a sexual partner.

2. How does your body confidence (or lack of) affect your sex life?

Becky, 22, SMA Type 2: “I would say that my lack of body confidence is the only thing that affects my sex life. From the age of 16, I’ve struggled with social anxiety which stems from the dislike of my body and the way my disability has ‘deformed’ it. I have such a fear of rejection that I have missed many opportunities to start relationships (casual and serious). Therefore, my sex life has been affected. This issue was actually one of the reasons my last relationship ended. I pushed away my partner to the point that he couldn’t deal with my constant queries and need for reassurance. I was a nightmare!”

Amy, 30, Congenital Muscular Dystrophy: “Body confidence issues and insecurities definitely held me back from experimenting sexually. I’ve only had one sexual partner and he is my fiancé of the past 7 years, despite having two previous long-term relationships beforehand.”

Sarah, 27, SMA Type 2: “I have very low body confidence and some days I really hate how I look. But it has never really affected my sex life. I always find the first encounter with someone new quite stressful and it gives me a lot of anxiety at the thought of someone seeing my wonky body. But no guy has ever said anything negative – quite the opposite!

I’m now in a long-term relationship with someone who fully understands my body hang-ups. He’s patiently trying to improve my body confidence and even if I don’t believe it, it’s pretty awesome having someone telling me I’m beautiful at least once a day.”

3. Have you tried online dating? What are your biggest concerns/challenges when it comes to dating? Do you disclose your disability?

Becky, 22, SMA Type 2: “All my dating experience has been via online apps. Every date I’ve been on has actually been really positive and I’ve met some nice people. As most girls/guys find, it can be hard to distinguish who is genuine or not when talking to people online, and it can also be hard to figure out their intentions. This can be even harder when a disability is involved, but I choose to disclose my disability in my bio. I only write a short sentence, usually something sassy like, ‘yes, I do use a wheelchair’. I also make sure I show at least one full-body photo. This relieves the anxiety of telling someone and also means that whoever messages me already knows about my disability. However, I do sometimes receive disrespectful or patronising comments but I love challenging them.”

Amy, 30, Congenital Muscular Dystrophy: “Most of my dating experiences have been using online platforms. Coming from a sheltered upbringing, meeting people at bars and clubs just didn’t seem realistic. I actually prefer online dating as it forces potential dates to see the best of you (unlike face-to-face where they often judge you on your disability).

I did go through a rough patch with dating sites, whereby if I mentioned in my profile the fact I am a wheelchair-user, most guys would open with, “Hi, I’m not being a dick but can you still have sex?”

I do believe sex is part of a healthy relationship but when guys put so much emphasis on that and that alone, it leads me to think they all want the same thing. For this reason I stopped disclosing my disability in my profile, and told them only after chatting for some time. Some accused me of leading them on, but to me this suggested they have a major issue with dating someone with a disability.”

Sarah, 27, SMA Type 2: “I’ve been dating a long time. Excitingly, I got my first boyfriend at school (Year 7), and I thought I was winning. It lasted a whole 3 days and we didn’t even get as far as holding hands.

It wasn’t until I moved away to university that I wanted to date, so I started to try online apps. During those 4 years, I only had a handful of dates and none went anywhere – although I did eventually get my first kiss aged 18.

I really started to date when I moved to London. I met all my dates online and I was quite surprised how many people wanted to go out with me. Most didn’t progress beyond the first date, though some were a lot more successful. I did feel vulnerable but that’s normal for anyone meeting someone they’ve talked to over the internet.

I made my disability obvious on my profile. I’m not saying it should be, but it can be a big deal for potential partners, and I didn’t want to waste my time with guys who couldn’t deal with it. My most successful dates never mentioned my disability in messages, it was just accepted.”

Laura, 24, Limb Girdle MD: I never had the confidence to approach guys in a conventional way. And so all my dating experience has been initiated online. It’s somehow easier to get to know people online before meeting in person. That way, they aren’t immediately confronted with my disability (which I think tends to intimidate most able-bodied guys). However, I have always included photos of myself in my wheelchair on dating profiles.

4. What frustrates you most about dating?

Becky, 22, SMA Type 2: “The most frustrating thing I find is effort. That sounds terrible but when talking to someone new, it takes a while to answer questions they may have and inform them correctly. This then comes with the fear of scaring them away or being rejected because of it.”

Amy, 30, Congenital Muscular Dystrophy: “Not knowing when best to disclose my disability and the anxiety over their reaction. As for the date itself, I worried about them seeing me struggle with something physical as I don’t want to be perceived as weak.”

Laura, 24, Limb Girdle MD: Honestly, the rejection! Online dating can be brutal, particularly for girls in wheelchairs! It takes a lot of determination to pick yourself and try again. But the effort does pay off in the end.”

5. What do you look for in a potential partner? Do you actively seek an able-bodied/disabled partner/someone with a similar disability to your own?

Becky, 22, SMA Type 2: “In a potential partner I look for someone who is open-minded and doesn’t take life too seriously. Someone who is honest, empathetic and obviously gives good cuddles! I wouldn’t say I actively seek an able-bodied person but dating somebody with a disability as severe as mine obviously adds difficulties.”

Amy, 30, Congenital Muscular Dystrophy: “I’ve always wanted a partner who has some form of disability. I have always valued and sought the emotional support and connection it would offer. It wasn’t until I stopped looking that I found someone who fit the bill completely. It was important to me that I found someone who could understand me.”

Sarah, 27, SMA Type 2: “While I have dated disabled people, my preference was always for someone without a disability. In particular, I didn’t want to date someone with care needs like myself. I think alone time with a partner is really essential and I wouldn’t want to be in a situation where a carer always had to be around.”

6. What were/are your biggest concerns prior to losing your virginity?

Becky, 22, SMA Type 2: “Apart from the typical concerns, I had additional worries. Positioning was the main one. I was worried about discomfort and being considered ‘boring’ due to my physical limitations. I was also concerned that the person I lost my virginity to wouldn’t be patient with me.

I had no idea what positions were possible and so trusting the person to be patient with me was a must. Being vulnerable was also a concern. When I’m in bed, I have no escape, meaning that anyone could easily take advantage of me.”

Amy, 30, Congenital Muscular Dystrophy: “My biggest concerns were not being able to do certain positions without my partner doing most of the work, and being unable to sexually satisfy him due to my muscle weakness.

Now several years on I’ve realised sex is more about creativity and trust, with those two things you can achieve almost all your sexual desires. Plus it isn’t all about intercourse. My only concern remaining is that my partner may one day prefer an able-bodied girl and get tired of thinking outside the box to make certain sexual activities possible.”

Sarah, 27, SMA Type 2: “I think my biggest concern was the uncertainty and not knowing my body’s limitations. I had no idea if I’d be able to get into a good position to have sex. I was also concerned whether I’d find the right person who would be patient enough to work together with me.”

7. Do you think your first sexual experience was more challenging/awkward purely because of your disability?

Becky, 22, SMA Type 2: “I would actually say no. For anyone, having sex for the first time is awkward. It’s all new feelings and sensations that no one can prepare for and sharing something intimate and new with someone. The only challenge I had was finding an easy position, due to my lordosis, but I was prepared for that.”

Amy, 30, Congenital Muscular Dystrophy: “It was more awkward purely due to my anxiety over what their reaction would be to my limitations in the bedroom. We didn’t talk beforehand, which I regret as it may have helped me relax, but I was embarrassed by the things I thought I would struggle with regarding intercourse in particular.”

Sarah, 27, SMA Type 2: “It was definitely more challenging and awkward. Looking back, I regret it happening when it did and with who. Despite dating quite a few different people prior to losing my virginity, I didn’t think any guy would want to have sex with me. When he did, I felt like I couldn’t say no because I didn’t think I’d get the opportunity to experience it again. I was lucky though that it was his first time too.

The whole thing was awkward. In an attempt to be romantic, he picked me up off the sofa and carried me to the bedroom but the flat corridors were super tight so he whacked my head on the door a few times. Then my floppy, bendy limbs made it difficult for him to get me undressed. The awkwardness carried on until I was re-dressed and back in my wheelchair.”

8. What are the most common misconceptions you have faced?

Becky, 22, SMA Type 2: “The main one is that I can’t have sex, full stop. On dating apps and on nights out, I am constantly asked if I can have sex. The sad thing is, some people are genuinely shocked when they learn that I can. Another misconception is that sex with a disabled person can be boring. Or that the disabled person is fragile and can be broken. These are both totally inaccurate.”

Amy, 30, Congenital Muscular Dystrophy: “That I am asexual because I’m a wheelchair-user or I have no sensation and therefore there’s nothing in it for me. I AM sexual, I do enjoy sex in a loving relationship (never been a one night stand kind of girl) and I CAN feel!”

Sarah, 27, SMA Type 2: “While online dating, I was often asked if I could have sex. Quite a few people I dated assumed I was paralysed and so I they would question if I had any sensation.”

9. When having sex, how do you overcome the physical limitations associated with your disability?

Becky, 22, SMA Type 2: “I overcome physical limitations by being honest with my partner. I’m always upfront with what I may need help with but also what I don’t need help with. It’s good to talk about challenges that may arise but also not to dwell on them. I sometimes just find it easier to mention things when actually getting into it. Talking and worrying too much can ruin the mood completely.”

Amy, 30, Congenital Muscular Dystrophy: “I did a lot of research into sexual positions for wheelchair-users. This coupled with knowing my own body’s limitations gives me a good sense of my capabilities in bed. In the areas I knew I’d struggle, my adaptive personality takes over and we just get creative using the ceiling track hoist. Oral, mutual masturbation, sensual massages etc are just as satisfying as intercourse.”

Sarah, 27, SMA Type 2: “I think having the right partner is key. If you’re not comfortable with them, it makes overcoming obstacles really difficult. You need to be with someone who you can be fully open with about your desires and that person needs to be willing to work within your limitations.”

10. In terms of sexual intercourse, what can’t you do that you wish you could?

Becky, 22, SMA Type 2: “There are some positions I wish I could do that are off-limits. The majority are adaptable but taking the lead would be fun. I can do that to some extent but not completely. Being spontaneous is also something I wish I could do – being able to jump into bed with someone without the whole process of hoisting and undressing. Also, having privacy and secrecy is something I’d like.”

Amy, 30, Congenital Muscular Dystrophy: “I can’t do certain positions unaided because my trunk muscles are too weak for me to be on top. I get frustrated at times with the restrictions of the ceiling hoist. But there are loads of other positions, so I don’t feel I miss out just because 1one or two are not possible.”

Sarah, 27, SMA Type 2: “There’s so much I can’t do, but the main thing I wish I could do isn’t a sexual thing. I really wish I could roll over by myself and give my boyfriend a hug and a kiss in bed without him having to help. In the past, I did feel like I was missing out on things but with the right partner, I don’t anymore. We’re in a really happy and loving relationship and even if I can’t do much in bed we still have a great time!”

Laura, 24, Limb Girdle MD: Obviously, as a full-time wheelchair-user there are things I can’t do, like doggy-style and being on top. But I find that you just have to be creative, have fun and laugh through the awkwardness! I do so wish I could masturbate but I don’t have the strength in my hands.”

11. What advice would you offer to other disabled people who are sexually inexperienced?

Becky, 22, SMA Type 2: “Don’t over-think things. It can be easy to think about all the difficulties you may face or embarrassing moments you may have but don’t let that have a hand in you missing out on sexual relations. On the other hand, make sure you trust whoever you’re intimate with. Even if it’s a one night stand, ask some trigger questions to get an idea of how they will treat you. But honestly, just have fun. Sex is great and everyone deserves to experience it.”

Amy, 30, Congenital Muscular Dystrophy: “Communication is essential. Think outside the box, use props for support and be open-minded. Practice, practice, practice and have fun.”

Sarah, 27, SMA Type 2: “Get used to having to communicate your needs, don’t just expect your partner to guess what you can and can’t do in bed. It’s also important to communicate what your likes and dislikes are. But probably my most important piece of advice is, don’t rush into things. There’s so much pressure on people to lose their virginity that it can make you feel like a loser if you haven’t had sex. It’s not for other people to dictate when the right time is. If someone comes along who wants to have sex with you, don’t do it just because you think you should.”

13. Are there any particularly funny sexual episodes you’d like to share?

Becky, 22, SMA Type 2: “My ex and I always struggled to find time alone together, due to the fact I share a room. We had to take advantage whenever possible, especially during the honeymoon period! We had a few spare minutes in my van (an advantage of having tinted windows!) and so I started giving oral as he unbuttoned my shirt. Suddenly he told me that my PA was getting closer and quickly sat in the passenger seat, making sure he was decent. He totally forgot that I couldn’t button my shirt back up until he looked back at me, his eyes wide, as my PA opened the door. He quickly moved in front of me, blocking me from her view as he buttoned me back up. We just pretended that nothing had happened and the PA still doesn’t realise!”

Amy, 30, Congenital Muscular Dystrophy: “My first time was in a hotel room in Birmingham. Little did we know the walls were paper thin and a family with young children were next-door. The following morning, I overheard the parents complain of a couple going at it so loudly the night before, it kept their kids up! I was mortified while my partner thought it was hilarious.”

Sarah, 27, SMA Type 2: “My boyfriend and I were on the sofa watching TV when my PA said she was popping out for a couple of hours. Clearly we wanted to make the most of this time alone. While he could undress me just fine, the re-dressing was slightly challenging. When my PA came back she said, ‘what the hell has happened to you clothes?!’”

Laura, 24, Limb Girdle MD: “Me and my then partner tried to use the hoist so that I could be on top. But as soon as he released the straps, I fell on top of him like a sack of potatoes and squashed him. But we laughed a lot!”


Coming Soon: Disability & Dating ~ The Boys!

Strictly Come Dancing 2018

Disability, Diversity & Representation

Following on from Paralympian Jonnie Peacock’s influential appearance on last year’s Strictly Come Dancing, the latest line-up includes Para-triathlete Lauren Steadman and acid attack victim Katie Piper. The former has no lower right arm, and the latter suffered significant facial disfigurement following a violent attack when she was only 24 years of age.

The inclusion of these two young women on such a high-profile BBC One talent show, with viewing figures in excess of 11 million, will no doubt play a big part in the promotion of positive views on disability and diversity, as well as encouraging body confidence.


Katie Piper – Acid attack victim and charity founder

35 year-old TV presenter, author, philanthropist and charity campaigner Katie Piper was left permanently scarred after a vicious acid attack in 2008. The former aspiring model has subsequently undergone over 60 necessary surgical procedures.

The industrial strength sulphuric acid that was thrown in Katie’s face has caused extreme damage and left her with sight, swallowing and breathing issues, requiring ongoing, invasive treatment.
The perpetrator was instructed to carry out the callous attack by an abusive former boyfriend whom Katie had met online.

Over the past decade, Katie has found admirable strength and persevered through the most trying of times. She bravely shared her story in two autobiographies and the 2010 BAFTA winning documentary, ‘Katie: My Beautiful Face’.
Katie has written four more self-help books, fronted several televised shows relating to body disfigurement, and most notably established The Katie Piper Foundation, to support fellow victims of acid attacks. She is also now happily married and has two young daughters.

Katie & Strictly Come Dancing

Prior to being paired with professional Strictly dance partner Gorka Marquez, Katie said, “there was a time not long ago that I wondered if I’d ever be glamorous again and now I know that is going to happen!”.

Katie Piper is all about embracing body confidence and celebrating diversity, whilst raising awareness of the consequences of acid attacks, which is a crime that is sadly on the increase. Her appearance on this hugely popular primetime BBC show will enable her to reach a wider audience and spread that message.

Piper is acknowledged to be the most anxious of this year’s celebrity contestants. Having really struggled to overcome the nerves during her first performance of a Waltz to Adele’s ‘when we were young’, Katie scored 17/40. Her confidence was knocked by negative feedback from the judges, particularly Craig Revel-Horwood who did not hold back.

Katie has since revealed, “it’s funny because like in the first week it did really affect me and it was silly because whenever I would wake up on Sunday at home it was like your 35-years-old and it’s an entertainment show, calm down.”

Katie and Gorka received their lowest score when they returned the following week with a Paso Doble. The choreography was intended to reflect the motto of the song to which they danced; ‘confident’ by Demi Lovato. However, Katie was visibly close to tears upon hearing the judges comments. While Darcy attempted to focus on the positive attitude with which Katie possessed, the others described her as “Stompy”, “plank-ish” and in need of improvement.

Nevertheless, the couple were supported by the viewing public and voted through to week three, and thankfully so, since their Foxtrot earned them 22 points – their highest score.

Katie says, “by week four I was in the groove, laughing and enjoying it and it was okay. You go in the green room afterwards and the [judges] are just normal, nice people.”

Sadly a Jive was to be Katie’s last dance on Strictly. Though disappointed to leave the competition relatively early, Piper admits though she overcame her nerves, insecurities and improved whilst on the show, she is not a natural dancer, and wouldn’t have wanted to be patronised or pitied.


Lauren Steadman – Paralympian

26 year-old Paralympian Lauren Steadman, originally from Peterborough, was born without a lower right arm. However, this has never prevented the determined sporting star from pursuing her dreams.

This Elite Para-triathlete is already a Double World Champion, Paralympic silver medallist (Rio 2016 – Women’s PT4) and six times European Champion.

Encouraged by her uncle who was himself a triathlete, she began competing in her local swimming team from age 11, representing Team GB. Two years later, Steadman took part in her first international competition in Denmark, as well as the 2008 Beijing Paralympic Games. Intent on pushing the boundaries of possibility even further, she switched sports, from swimming to the triathlon, after the London Paralympic Games in 2012.

Alongside her demanding athletics career, Lauren has pursued academics and achieved a first-class Psychology degree in 2014, followed by a Master’s in Business and Management.
Lauren recalls, “In one year I had taken all three titles – British, European and World Champion – for the first time, and graduated from university with first class honours. It really couldn’t get much better than that!”.

Lauren & Strictly Come Dancing

Lauren signed up to appear on the latest series of Strictly Come Dancing as she wanted to set herself a new challenge, learn another skill and test her “own levels of uncomfortableness”. When asked what she was most excited about she replied, “pushing myself and any boundaries I may encounter with having one arm. I like to succeed even if the odds are against me”.

With no experience whatsoever, Steadman claims her friends and family would describe her amateur dancing style as that of a baby elephant!

The glitz and glamour of Strictly is indeed a stark contrast to her sporting life. Not only that, dance itself is a very different discipline to what she is used to as an athlete. Dancing requires fluidity, expression, emotion and creativity, rather than the rigidity and stern focus necessary for triathlon events.

Despite all the odds, Lauren and partner AJ Pritchard stepped out with an impressive Waltz in the opening week of the show, scoring 25/40 from the four judges. The couple dropped 3 points with their second dance; a Charleston, and were awarded 20/40 for their slightly awkward Cha Cha Cha in week three. However, they returned on top form the following Saturday with an elegant Quickstep, earning them 25 points.

Their latest performance marks a first in Strictly history – a Contemporary dance, newly categorized as the ‘couple’s choice’. It was a highly personal interpretation with choreography designed to represent Lauren’s personal journey, her defiance and disability. The emotional dance was awarded with a standing ovation from the studio audience and 24 points from the judges.

Lauren has chosen not to wear a prosthesis during her time on Strictly. Preferring that her disability remain visible, she is keen to break down barriers, challenge convention and encourage other disabled people by demonstrating how dance can be adapted to suit different bodies and abilities.
For Lauren, the rollercoaster Strictly journey continues…


This article was uploaded by Disability Horizons on 26/10/2018


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Armistice Centenary

11/11/1918 ~ 11/11/2018

Today is Remembrance Sunday. A century has now passed since the signing of the armistice, marking the end of the First World War.

11/11/1918 ~ the day the guns fell silent along the Western Front, and four long years of fighting came to cease.

‘The war that will end war’ ~ H. G. Wells

On the eleventh hour, of the eleventh day, of the eleventh month, a two-minute silence is held every year to observe and remember all who have fought and lost their lives in war, both past and present.

Hereford Cathedral ~ April 2018 Photo copyright Carrie Aimes

Above: ‘Poppies: Weeping Window, Installation. Here at Hereford Cathedral in April 2018. Part of the 1914-18 NOW, WWI centenary commemoration #poppiestour.


Explaining Remembrance Day to children

Recently, a friend told me that her seven year-old daughter had asked why we wear poppies and what Remembrance Sunday means.

She didn’t really know what to say or how to explain it. So she asked if I knew of any age-appropriate books or films to give her an overview.

I’ll be honest, I was fairly stumped! She’s a mature kid, but still, she’s only seven.

How do you explain, to a young child, the concept of ‘poppy day’, and the importance of remembering those who fought in a World War that took place 100 years ago?

(If you’ve any ideas or suggestions, please leave a comment and let me know. Thanks!)


Last weekend, I watched the film War Horse (2011), based on the novel by Michael Morpurgo. I’ll admit, I cried.

It’s an incredibly well told story depicting the perpective of the English, French and Germans during WWI, via war horse Joey who travels throughout Europe, encountering numerous owners.

I had previously read War Horse the novel as well as Private Peaceful, also authored by Morpurgo. Though I wouldn’t recommend these titles for a seven year-old, they are, I feel, brilliant for anyone wanting to know about the effects of the Great War on individuals, families, relationships and communities.

(What books or films would you recommend for primary school children who want to learn about WWI and Remembrance Day?)

~ Please do let me know how you are spending this Remembrance Sunday ~

~ Are you attending a service?

~ Will you be thinking of relatives who served in war?

~ Do you have children with questions of their own?


If you found this blog post interesting, please read: 

Armistice Day | 2016

Interview | Accessing University as a Disabled Student

My good friend Lucy recently graduated from Canterbury Christ Church University with a First class honours degree. Like me, 24 year-old Lucy who lives with her family in Kent, has a progressive form of muscular dystrophy.

Now that she’s free from study, I thought I’d grab her for a chat and ask a few questions about her university experience from the perspective of being a physically disabled student.

Perhaps the insight, information and advice offered here might be helpful to anyone out there with a disability who is applying to university or considering higher education.

Lucy with her carers and peers at university.

1. Hi Lucy, can you please describe your disability and how it affects you.

Hey! So, I have Congenital Muscular Dystrophy – Merosin Deficient, meaning I lack the merosin needed to knit the layers of my muscles together. Because of this, I get progressively weaker over time due to my muscles being unable to properly repair themselves.

This weakness means I can’t really do anything for myself without support from other people. It also makes daily habits difficult as I lack the strength to hold things and do things. A few examples might be that I find it difficult to feed myself as I find certain cutlery too heavy to lift, I can no longer read books unless they’re digital as I cannot hold them or turn pages, and I need regular hoisting for transfers and the bathroom.

Being a muscle defect, my organs and my lungs in particular are affected, meaning I have regular medication and ventilator intervention to aid my breathing. Lying down helps with this, as well as only being able to write/type lying down, which means I lie down most of the time.

2. Did your disability put off going to university?
And what, if any, concerns did you have prior to applying for university?

I knew it would be difficult to apply to university but I wouldn’t say my disability ever “put me off” of applying. I’ve been very lucky with my education in that my parents have always pushed for inclusion and for me to receive education befitting my abilities. I went to a mainstream primary school, a grammar school for my secondary education, and college after that. So applying for university, whilst scary, was the logical next step for me.

That’s not to say I didn’t have any concerns regarding how I would be able to access higher education with my disability. One of my main worries was that Uni is a very different environment from school in that the campus is a lot bigger! Having hoists and a portable bed so I can lie down is all well and good when it’s accessible but, what if I was timetabled for lectures in a different building to my equipment? It wouldn’t be possible to transfer every 5 minutes, so it took a while to negotiate a timetable solely in one place – it was tough but doable.

3. Could you please explain the application process and any challenges you faced?

The application process itself was exactly the same as if I were an ‘able-bodied’ student – I applied through UCAS and SFE (Student Finance England). However, perhaps most importantly for me, I also had to apply for extra DSA (Disabled Students Allowance) as well. It was the next steps that were a bit different…

After applying and being accepted, I began having regular meetings with the disability officer who would be supporting me during my time at Uni. The disability department at my university in particular was split into different fields: physical disabilities, learning disabilities, and mental health.

We discussed suitable timetabling, storage for my hoists and bed, even suitable places for my carers to chill out whilst I was in lectures. It was all sorted over the summer months before term was due to start.

I chose to live at home with my family throughout the duration of my course (2015-18) rather than on campus, so that was one less thing to organise.

4. What support did you receive and was it difficult to get this support in place?

I have my own team of personal carers, provided by an agency, who supported me whilst a student. In my case, this wasn’t something the university or disability officer organised or supported with.

The DSA I used mainly to pay for transport. I paid for a wheelchair-accessible taxi to take me to Uni or the library each day. The finance was also used to supply me with a MacBook and accompanying software such as Dragon Naturally Speaking and Claroread, as well as a printer and allowances for things like ink cartridges and paper.

I personally found the process of co-ordinating with my disability officer really straightforward at the beginning. She really listened to what my needs were and to the best of her abilities made sure everything was in place before I started my course. However, it was once I had enrolled that her involvement became less proactive. I think a major learning experience for me would be that I should have been more proactive myself in maintaining regular contact with her.

There are undoubtedly going to be a number of disabled students on the system at whichever university you attend. Therefore, I would say if you feel you need help or advice, don’t hesitate to ask! Because, when I did ask, she generally followed through. I only wish I’d asked for her help a lot more than I did.

5. How would you rate your university experience from a disability/inclusivity perspective?

Looking back on my experience as a disabled student, I’d rate my experience quite highly to be honest. There were certain things I found more difficult but generally I was included really well. I was able to lie down in lectures and participate fully, timetabling was set so I remained in one classroom for the entire day (something which my peers were VERY appreciative of, and made it known to me regularly). My equipment both on campus and at the library was easily accessible and staff were very helpful in its safe storage. All members of staff – from lecturers to security and housekeeping were continuously supportive and understanding of my needs.

6. In your opinion, what improvements need to be made to make higher education more accessible to disabled people?

As previously mentioned, I’ve been lucky in having the family support and confidence to access university, but I know how difficult it can be to have that confidence. I think one of the main reasons for this is because the process isn’t made clear or obvious. I mean, I had to work out my own process moving forward after my application. Whilst every process for establishing individual needs at Uni is going to be different, I think it’s important that the availability of such a step is highlighted.

I think UCAS and all university websites should, as a minimum, have a clear disability section outlining key contacts of enquiry. It’s far easier to make confident decisions if you’re fully informed and know that there’s going to be the support you need behind you.

I won’t rose tint – accessing higher education as a disabled student can be like having to find your own way in the dark! By no means is it a clear, easy-to-follow process.

7. What advice would you offer other disabled people considering university?

Having now completed university, I guess I’d advise others to try their best not to get anxious about the process. Yes, it’s daunting. Yes, it’s tough. But ultimately it is worth it.

As long as you’re clear and assertive about your needs, there will always be people around to support you. If you need support with campus or timetabling issues, ask the Uni. If you need help in class, ask your lecturers. If you need a pen, ask one of your peers! It all sounds really obvious and stupid but I can’t stress enough how important it is to just ask for help. But most importantly, be confident in yourself and just be yourself!

8. As a physically disabled individual, what do you consider to be the potential challenges around the social aspect of university life?

I think the social aspects of life in any context can be difficult for disabled people but at Uni it can be especially hard for some. I think one of the most important things to remember is that, actually, it’s not just you and it’s definitely not just disabled people that have this issue.

Many students relocate for university, sometimes half way across the country, sometimes half way across the world. So you’re all going to be in the same boat in that respect.
However, I’m not dismissing the fact that disabled people have it tougher than most. I think the most important thing is, once again, confidence. Many people lack the confidence to introduce themselves to disabled people for a multitude of different reasons – they don’t know what to say, they don’t know if you can respond, they don’t know if you want to be spoken to. All of these things can seriously put people off because they don’t want to embarrass themselves, or you for that matter, so it’s up to us to have the confidence that they lack.

Introduce yourself to people at Freshers’ Fayre, be an active member of your class and, if possible, join a society or two. Be the best version of yourself and people will be drawn to you.

*All images courtesy of Lucy Hudson.


I’d like to thank the lovely Lucy for putting up with my interrogation! 

She is in fact a brilliant poet, having co-authored the poetry anthology ‘Wheels of Motion’ which can be purchased here!

You can also follow Lucy on Twitter


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Britain’s Got Talent | Disability Representation

Are you a Britain’s Got Talent viewer? If like me, you have tuned in this year, you too may have noticed that the semi-final line-up features a number of diversely disabled acts – more so than previous years.

As a wheelchair-user myself, I am thrilled to see disability increasingly represented and celebrated on such a high-profile primetime TV talent show.

Lee Ridley AKA Lost Voice Guy

Lee Ridley, also known as Lost Voice Guy, is the first act through to the live final, having won the audience vote on Monday night. Hotly tipped to win the competition, Lee 37 from Newcastle, has Cerebral Palsy and is unable to speak. This uniquely speechless comedian uses a Lightwriter – a voice synthesiser, and as he says, “walks with a limp”. He is a BBC New Comedy Award Winner who wears slogan T-shirts depicting his self-deprecating and inclusive sense of humour – his audition shirt read, ‘I’m only in it for the parking’.

Lee Ridley AKA Lost Voice Guy

Lost Voice Guy wowed audiences and judges alike with his witty routines that draw attention to and highlight the humour in disability, thereby breaking down barriers and removing social stigma. The “struggling comedian who also struggles to stand up” joked that he “really is disabled. It’s not just really good acting”.

Robert White

Fellow comedian Robert White who has dyslexia, autism and Asperger syndrome, also made it through to Sunday night’s final with his hilariously quirky musical comedy act. The 41 year-old music teacher from West Sussex describes himself as “the only gay, Aspergic, quarter-Welsh comic on the British comedy circuit”.

Though his audition proved impressive, White really upped his game for Wednesday’s live semi-final, in which he employed natural comedy timing to mock the four judges. Accompanied by a keyboard, Robert White flirted with his “next boyfriend” David Walliams and quipped that Amanda Holden dresses far too young for her age, while Alesha Dixon dresses like a hooker! This was met with unanimous rapturous applause and laughter.

Comedian Robert White

Most notably, Robert directly referenced the sensitivity surrounding his condition during his live act: “I am aware that if you mention autism on stage sometimes audiences can go awkward and silent”. This effectively challenges viewers to consider how they receive and react to those of us with a disability, thus initiating the conversation.

Calum Courtney

This year’s youngest finalist is 10 year-old singer Calum Courtney who has a mild form of autism. Calum sailed through to the final after melting hearts with his reworked rendition of Stevie Wonder’s ‘Isn’t She Lovely’, in tribute to his Mum. He didn’t win the overall public vote, but having made it into the top three, was put through by the judges.

Calum Courtney

Calum was part of the line-up at the NSPCC Winter Charity Ball in aid of the National Autistic Society. His endearing and confident audition performance of Michael Jackson’s ‘Who’s Loving You’ caught the crowd’s attention and earned a standing ovation. It just goes to show that even at such a tender age, autism need not be a barrier to success.

RISE Unbroken

Semi-finalists RISE, a group of young dancers from Manchester, presented two moving performances, though they did not make it through to the grand final. Group member 13 year-old Hollie Booth was caught up in the Manchester Arena bombing at an Ariana Grande concert in May 2017. Hollie’s aunt Kellie was one of 22 people who died as a result of the terror attack.

Manchester dance group RISE

Hollie broke her knee, left foot and was left with nerve damage. She has so far had 11 operations and now has to wear an orthotic and use a wheelchair. She was keen to return to the group and continue dancing despite her trauma and the injuries she suffered. As a mark of solidarity and inclusivity in the face of adversity, all RISE dancers incorporate wheelchairs into their routines. The tearful judges hailed the girls as “inspirational”. In this case, I think the term is justified!

B-Positive Choir

Final mention goes to B-Positive – the official NHS Blood and Transplant choir. The choir consists of 60 singers all of whom suffer from, or are directly affected by, sickle cell disease. Their aim is to raise awareness of the urgent need for blood donation. They sang the “powerful” anthemic hit ‘This is Me’ (a true statement of the importance of diversity). They are hoping for a wild card pass through to Sunday night’s final.

B-Positive Choir

The inclusion of so many disabled acts in this year’s line-up will, I believe, have a positive impact on the disabled community. It suggests and promotes forward-thinking, equality and disability in the mainstream. Furthermore, it inspires open discussion of diversity in all its forms whilst also encouraging society to focus on ability as opposed to inability.

Widespread visibility of disabled talent within the media will naturally be met with questions and curiosity. But that’s okay because it signifies progressive inclusivity.

Many people are talking about the acts they have seen on Britain’s Got Talent. Audiences are realising that it’s acceptable to celebrate disability and to laugh about it! It is okay to ask questions since this educates and informs, thereby resulting in familiarity, recognition and ‘normalisation’.


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Related Blog Posts:

Jonnie Peacock and Strictly Come Dancing

Strictly Come Dancing 2018

Interview | Tabi ~ Singer-Songwriter with Muscular Dystrophy

 

International Women’s Day 2018

Just a quick post today, to (belatedly) celebrate International Women’s Day 2018.

It is held on 8th March, every year. Here are a few quotes that resonate with me…

What does International Women’s Day mean to you?


This post comes to you a little late since I spent Thursday 8th March in hospital having an operation – fun, fun!

I’m now on the mend and planning future blog posts. What topics would you like me to cover? If you have any ideas or suggestions, I would be grateful if you would leave a comment.


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Interview | ‘The Undateables’ Steve Carruthers

“It is a life-changing experience.        Embrace it!”


The Undateables is a Channel 4 TV show featuring people with a variety of disabilities, all of whom are looking for love.

Steve Carruthers, who has Crouzon syndrome (a genetic condition affecting the shape of the face and head), was a participant on series two, back in 2013. Though romance did not blossom with his date, the experience gave him much needed confidence.

Following his appearance, Steve – now 36, from Manchester – soon met the love of his life Vicky, through social media. Vicky had in fact seen Steve on the show and decided to contact him.

The Undateables screened Steve’s romantic proposal and the couple later married in 2015.

1. Steve, why did you apply to The Undateables and, what reservations did you have?

I initially applied for a different show called ‘Beauty and the Beast: The Ugly Face of Prejudice’. As a result, I was approached to appear on series one of ‘The Undateables’, but I declined as it had never been on TV and I didn’t get the gist of the show. After series one ended, I was approached again but this time it was by my good friend Adam Pearson, who worked with the team to find participants for the show. He convinced me to give it a chance as he said it would help me with my confidence and outlook as I had a negative outlook on life after the loss of two of my siblings. I was a bit reserved and concerned that after being on the show, more people would make fun of my appearance. But, in doing the show, my outlook changed to a positive one and allowed me to help other people in a similar position.

2. How were you treated throughout the production process?

The whole team was incredibly nice, supportive and understanding. Everything was treated with care and compassion.

3. What response have you received following your appearances?

Like all things with TV, there are negative people who see disability as something to mock and joke about. But the positives outweighed the negatives in a huge way. People are so kind and understanding. I found that it [the show] helped educate people about disability. It also helps with how we perceive ourselves and how society perceives us to.

4. The show has been accused of being insensitive and exploitative. The title in particular is widely criticised. What do you think?

The show itself really is everything you see (believe it or not). It is exactly how dates are in real life – you have moments of silence, awkwardness and moments of hope. The show’s titles show cupid shooting the [prefix] ‘Un’ off, leaving the word ‘dateables’. The point of this is to prove we are all dateable, and that we [disabled people] have the same experiences on dates as everyone else does.

5. What would you say to anyone who is considering applying to the show?

My advice to anyone applying for or appearing on the show is to go into it with an open mind. There will be those who will say [derogatory] things, but overall the positives more than outweigh the negatives. It is a life-changing experience. Embrace it! The positive message you’re putting out there helps others as well as yourself. The show has had a huge impact and gives so many people, like me, much needed confidence. Those who watch the show have gained so much more understanding of different disabilities too.


I’d like to thank Steve for taking the time to speak with me.

You can watch his original appearance on the show here.

Images courtesy of The Undateables and The Sun


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