Undateables – Disability & Lifestyle Blog

Interview | Becky Dann

Art & Disability

24 year-old Becky Dann has kyphoscoliosis – a severe curvature of the spine. She was diagnosed at the age of four and became a wheelchair-user from the age of nine. She was subsequently bullied at school for her physical appearance.

You may recognise Becky as one of the participants from series 8 of the hit Channel 4 television show, The Undateables. But what you may not know is that she is also an accomplised artist.

As someone who has studied art throughout school and at undergraduate level myself, I thought it would be interesting to chat with Becky about her striking photography series, ‘I’m Fine’, and her work with Shape Arts, London.

1. Can you tell us about your photography project entitled, ‘I’m Fine’?

‘I’m Fine’ is a project that started in my second year of university. For most of my childhood, I was told I was different (due to my disability) and I didn’t understand it because I felt just like everyone else. University was when I really started to accept myself and how I looked. It was also the time when I started to realise that it wasn’t okay that I was constantly treated differently instead of an equal.

The project originally started with a research and development period, which looked at dating with a disability. As someone who started out very much hiding my disability online, I then explored why I did this and what the outcome was once I told someone. I then looked at the difference in dating online when my disability was put out there publicly from the outset.

As time went on I started to realise that looking deeper into things, I wanted to use this project as a ‘self-exploration’ project as well as a ‘challenging perceptions’ project. I was okay with how I looked – I wanted others to know that I’m okay and that people shouldn’t see me differently.

I decided to take some self-portraits in the studio as I wanted to show myself with my scoliosis on show as if to say, ‘this is me, I’m fine’.

Over the second and third year of university, I really explored this concept deeper and decided to develop the self-portraits into a live art piece. I wanted an audience and I wanted to challenge how comfortable they were around someone with a ‘different’ body. So, I advertised around my university – it was explained to audience members that the piece was a participatory piece whereby they were invited to paint a handprint and place it somewhere on my body, wherever they felt comfortable. Of course I kept my modest areas covered so people couldn’t take advantage, but I left my back clear.

It was really interesting because I was effectively a ‘statue’ and couldn’t talk. People were told to put the handprint anywhere on my body, but they continued to try and ask me where was acceptable. At one point I heard someone say, “There’s nowhere left”, though I knew full well that my back had not been touched. It wasn’t until one confident person put a handprint on my back that suddenly everyone realised it was okay.

2. How was your university experience (in terms of inclusivity and being a student with a physical disability)?

When I first started university (the University for the Creative Arts in Farnham, Surrey) I was a full time wheelchair user with no clue what I was entitled to and I didn’t even know I was dyslexic. I remember first viewing my accommodation and quickly picking up on the fact that they seemed to put all disabled people together in one building, which was incredibly segratory.

I struggled to start with because I started to realise that a lot of my curriculum involved doing outdoor photography shoots, and I wasn’t sure how to do this without help – I couldn’t physically carry everything. I eventually asked for help and was pointed to our student services, where I was soon set up with a support worker which became really helpful to me.

In school, I had always struggled to retain information and although this was passed off without concern or investigation, I knew something wasn’t right. It wasn’t until I reached university that one of my tutors hinted that some students may want to go to student services for dyslexia support. I decided to seek help and see if that was the problem, and low and behold it turns out that I am in fact dyslexic! This meant I was given support with essays which became so useful since it really helped me to work to my full potential. I went from being a C/D grade student in my first year, to an A/B student in second and third year, eventually graduating with a First Class Honors degree.

I also gained enough movement in my legs during my second year, enabling me to start walking more with a crutch. Thankfully, my campus was so small and so going from campus to class was simple for me. It was great to finally feel independent.

Admittedly, I was really lucky at university as I had very supportive tutors around me, and I was there when DSA (Disabled Students’ Allowance) was in full force. But it was in my final year at university that I really started to notice how things needed to change for disabled students. Consequently, I ran for Disabled Students’ Officer in my Students’ Union elections, so that I could help represent my peers on campus. I won the election and helped make changes which was great. This then spurred me on to run for Campus President at my Students’ Union, where I was able to continue representing disabled students. I got to sit on boards within the university such as the Equality and Diversity board and the Inclusion board. I was able to speak out on behalf of disabled students, and help the university to become more inclusive. Furthermore, I was asked to speak at conferences with university staff about the importance of an inclusive education, and I was told by tutors who worked there that I’d made a real impact which meant a lot to me.

I was incredibly sad to say goodbye to my university, but I had the best years of my life there and I still speak to some of the staff!

3. What does your job at Shape Arts involve?

I work for an arts commissioning programme called Unlimited, which is run by Shape Arts and Artsadmin, two arts organisations in London. I am based at Shape Arts, an organisation working in the arts sector to improve access for and representation of disabled people, part of which is providing and sharing opportunities for disabled artists.

Unlimited commissions disabled artists to create their work. We have had some amazing artists such as Jess Thom from Touretteshero and Jackie Hagan too.

I am a trainee and have been working there just over a year. I am a key contact for a few of our artists, which means I am their point of call with anything regarding their commissions. When our current commissions are ready to tour, Southbank Centre has a festival at which some of our artists get to show their work. The next festival is 5 – 9 September 2018.

My role allows me the opportunity to do a lot of great things such as travelling to see different artworks, which I love. I recently went to Bristol and saw ‘The Nature of Why’ by Paraorchestra, another Unlimited commission at The Bristol Old Vic. I had already heard about Paraorchestra through working here, though I hadn’t seen any of their work and so I wasn’t entirely sure what to expect.

As someone who isn’t usually good with immersive art, I was kind of nervous when I found out that the performance was around the audience and that dancers could come up to you. But as soon as the musicians started singing and the music started, there was a sudden wave of emotion that came over me. I listened to the whole piece so intensely and I felt so much emotion that I ended up crying! It was amazing and made me feel incredibly happy. I really love my job!

🌟 All images courtesy of Becky Dann.

Follow Becky on social media:
Twitter: @BeckyDann
Instagram: BeckyDann
Website: rebeccadann.wixsite.com/photography

I’d like to thank Becky for taking the time to speak with me and answer my questions.

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Interview | ‘The Undateables’ Steve Carruthers

“It is a life-changing experience. Embrace it!”

The Undateables is a Channel 4 TV show featuring people with a variety of disabilities, all of whom are looking for love.

Steve Carruthers, who has Crouzon syndrome (a genetic condition affecting the shape of the face and head), was a participant on series two, back in 2013. Though romance did not blossom with his date, the experience gave him much needed confidence.

Following his appearance, Steve – now 36, from Manchester – soon met the love of his life Vicky, through social media. Vicky had in fact seen Steve on the show and decided to contact him.

The Undateables screened Steve’s romantic proposal and the couple later married in 2015.

1. Steve, why did you apply to The Undateables and, what reservations did you have?

I initially applied for a different show called ‘Beauty and the Beast: The Ugly Face of Prejudice’. As a result, I was approached to appear on series one of ‘The Undateables’, but I declined as it had never been on TV and I didn’t get the gist of the show. After series one ended, I was approached again but this time it was by my good friend Adam Pearson, who worked with the team to find participants for the show. He convinced me to give it a chance as he said it would help me with my confidence and outlook as I had a negative outlook on life after the loss of two of my siblings. I was a bit reserved and concerned that after being on the show, more people would make fun of my appearance. But, in doing the show, my outlook changed to a positive one and allowed me to help other people in a similar position.

2. How were you treated throughout the production process?

The whole team was incredibly nice, supportive and understanding. Everything was treated with care and compassion.

3. What response have you received following your appearances?

Like all things with TV, there are negative people who see disability as something to mock and joke about. But the positives outweighed the negatives in a huge way. People are so kind and understanding. I found that it [the show] helped educate people about disability. It also helps with how we perceive ourselves and how society perceives us to.

4. The show has been accused of being insensitive and exploitative. The title in particular is widely criticised. What do you think?

The show itself really is everything you see (believe it or not). It is exactly how dates are in real life – you have moments of silence, awkwardness and moments of hope. The show’s titles show cupid shooting the [prefix] ‘Un’ off, leaving the word ‘dateables’. The point of this is to prove we are all dateable, and that we [disabled people] have the same experiences on dates as everyone else does.

5. What would you say to anyone who is considering applying to the show?

My advice to anyone applying for or appearing on the show is to go into it with an open mind. There will be those who will say [derogatory] things, but overall the positives more than outweigh the negatives. It is a life-changing experience. Embrace it! The positive message you’re putting out there helps others as well as yourself. The show has had a huge impact and gives so many people, like me, much needed confidence. Those who watch the show have gained so much more understanding of different disabilities too.

I’d like to thank Steve for taking the time to speak with me.

You can watch his original appearance on the show here.

Images courtesy of The Undateables and The Sun

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The [Un]dateables

In February 2017, I wrote a piece for Muscular Dystrophy UK about the Channel4 TV dating show, The Undateables.

Last week, Channel4 aired the final episode of its reality series The Undateables, a dating show for disabled people.

For those who are unfamiliar, individuals with any disability are invited to appear on the show, now in its sixth season.

With the help of dating agencies and personal introduction services, they take part in blind dates, speed dating and match-making in the hope of finding love.

Now, I’ve seen almost every episode since it premiered in 2012, and I have to say I am a fan and supporter.

I appreciate and understand the controversy surrounding the show, particularly within the disabled community, although I personally disagree with much of the negative criticism. For this reason, as someone with a physical disability myself, I would like to offer my point of view.

Firstly, I’d like to point out that all participants have applied of their own free will. Following their appearances, all have reported a positive experience, even those who did not find love as a direct result of the show.

Tammy from series 5 says, “I put myself forward for The Undateables. At no point during filming did I feel like I was being used for entertainment. It’s an entertaining show [but] we all just want to find someone who loves us for us.”

The program has been invaluable and life changing for many, leading to long term relationships, marriage and babies. Furthermore, despite the claims of some, disabled individuals have not been coupled exclusively with other disabled people.

For example, Brent, a young man with tourettes married his able-bodied date Challis.

Steve with Crouzon syndrome married able-bodied Vicky whom he met on Twitter after the show gave him much needed confidence – he remains friends with his able-bodied date from the show.

Then there’s Carolyne from the first series, whose childhood sweetheart left her when she became paralysed following a spinal cord lesion. She later met Dean who is able-bodied. The couple had their first child together in 2014.

These are just a few of the many success stories resulting from the show.

Some critics have called into question the editing, which it can be argued is an issue with any reality TV show. However, taking into consideration the accounts offered by the participants themselves, it would seem to me that great care has been taken to ensure fair and accurate representation.

Again, I personally have no issue with the tone or editing, and have never found it to be exploitative, patronising, sensationalist or insincere. Quite the opposite in fact, I feel The Undateables realistically and positively depicts a range of disabilities, thereby raising awareness and breaking down social barriers and stigma.

James, who has Asperger’s, took part in the show last year. He told ITV’s This Morning, “It [the show] provides a lot of education on a wide range of things, not just conditions… The fact that people will tune in knowing they will learn a bit more, maybe take away the stigma, is a very positive thing. It paints a very positive picture of British audiences.”

The format itself is understandably a contentious issue: why is it not the norm for disabled people to participate in mainstream dating shows such as First Dates, (also a product of Channel4), and ITV’s Take Me Out?

Why must the disabled community be confined to a show exclusively for them? There is no definitive answer, though I would argue that it comes down to choice and demand.

As previously stated, those who partake make the choice to do so. Many have learning disabilities and are supported by family, friends and caregivers, as viewers will know. Therefore, to suggest they are being taken advantage of by producers, which some critics have, I feel implies that these people are not able to form rational decisions and make up their own minds. This is inaccurate and unjustified.

Secondly, the show is now in its sixth year (as of Feb 2017), which proves there is continuing demand from both the viewing public and applicants eager to find love, friendship and companionship.

I have found that questions and accusations such as the aforementioned are often posed, more often than not by those with disabilities. This indicates to me that, in fact, it is not predominantly the able-bodied community who have issues with the show. Yes, you may hear the occasional, ‘bless them’, ‘aw, how sweet’ and ‘good for them’ from able-bodied viewers – how very dare they indeed!

But to conclude that this is a form of ‘inspiration porn’ is in my opinion, vastly overstretching the mark. I take issue with the term ‘inspiration porn’, particularly in relation to The Undateables.

Frankly, even if viewers are in some way inspired by the determination and go-getting attitude of those they see on the show, why is that so awful?

Paralympians are equally as inspiring as Olympians. Yet there are some, particularly in the disabled community, who deem this to be ‘inspiration porn’. That is to say, people draw inspiration from disabled athletes solely due to their disability rather than their sporting achievement, as well as to feel better about their own lives. Personally, I think this is nonsense and insulting to both the able-bodied and disabled.

I cannot speak for the entire viewing public, obviously, but I have watched the show with friends and family over the years, and the feedback has always been one of support and genuine happiness for the love-seekers. Not one person I have spoken to has ever indulged in this so called ‘inspiration porn’ to, as critics say, feel better about themselves. This is the one accusation that frustrates me the most.

Okay, the title… Are Channel4 saying that we, the disabled, are undateable? Put simply, NO!

Producers have themselves stated that the title is to challenge this common misconception within society. Furthermore, as viewers will know, during the opening sequence of each episode, the prefix clearly falls from the word ‘dateables’, thus indicating the contrary.

The show itself is proof that no one is undateable – an eye opener to many viewers who may have previously thought otherwise, or have just never considered the fact that like them, we (the disabled) also need, want and desire love and intimacy.

For one reason or another, there remains a section of society that has never encountered anyone with a disability. Through no fault of their own, they consequently may be ignorant to the needs, desires and feelings of disabled people. I think The Undateables is a great way to introduce this concept to such individuals.

As James with Asperger’s says, the show is successfully removing stigma and raising awareness.

I have an older brother with complex learning disabilities, and so I’m able to draw from his perspective in addition to my own. He has expressed a keen interest to appear on The Undateables, and my family and I would be more than happy for him to do so. Neither of us feel alienated, uncomfortable, ridiculed or patronised by the show. Again, I do appreciate the criticism but for those who bother to watch it with an open mind, I believe you will find it to be well-meaning, sincere and sympathetic.

Those involved have benefitted, it has given others in similar circumstances the confidence to look for love, and it has made society realise that we all have basic human needs and desires, and the right to pursue them.

It’s easy for viewers to criticise on social media, having watched only one episode, or even one at all. But I implore you, ask the participants. Their response says it all, for me anyway. It seems to me the majority of negative critics haven’t actually seen the show and are therefore judging it superficially. It is certainly not a freak show and is not treated as such.

The dating agencies, often run by the parents or relatives of those with disabilities, aim to match clients based on common interests. Disabled people are not matched with others with similar disabilities. To assume so says more about those who think this than anyone involved with The Undateables.

So finally, I urge the harsher critics out there to actually WATCH (preferably more than once!) before judging so narrow-mindedly.

Who knows if Channel4 will commission another series of the popular show. Based on viewing figures, I’m guessing it’s more than likely they will. If so, I’ll certainly be tuning in.