Navigating Love & Life as a Disabled Woman | Muscular Dystrophy

Let’s be honest, when we’re young, we’re all enticed by a pretty face or a good body. Attraction is primarily physical, and to put it bluntly, at 18, most of us would shag anything with a pulse – opportunity is everything.

I cringe when looking back at some of the guys I fancied and gave my attention to! What the bloody hell was I thinking?!

Each to their own, but I was never a one-night-stand type. And not because I’m a tiny, delicate woman in a wheelchair, and therefore more vulnerable. That didn’t even occur to me. Oh, the naivety of youth!

A collage of four photos of me in my powered wheelchair

Much later, I reluctantly signed up to dating app Hinge, which lasted a total of two months.

I tried modern dating (eurgh!), which, in my limited experience, seemed to consist of shallow idiots and the phrases “you’re no one’s type”, “get in the car!” and, “let’s book a hotel room”.

Responding with a firm no, I was told to “fuck off then”.

There are some lovely people out there!

On reflection, it probably wasn’t the best idea to tell one bloke that his car was shit, but it made me laugh as I rolled home alone in my powered wheelchair.

Growing up, a friend of mine repeatedly told me, “you need a big strong guy to pick you up and throw you around”.

I can see where she was coming from, but even as a young teen, I always thought, why? Don’t I just want someone to care?

Eventually, I did date that guy – the gym guy. And yes, for the first few months it was great. It was fun, liberating, and as another friend once said, “he gave you a sense of independence and adventure”.  She was totally right.

In terms of practicality, it made life a hell of a lot easier for me, as a non-ambulatory wheelchair-user. For a fleeting moment, I thought that was what I wanted.

But, ultimately, I couldn’t rely on him and I felt very much like an option, a burden, and too much to take on due to my disability. He was physically incredibly strong, but mentally and emotionally very weak.

I didn’t realise it at the time, but at that stage, I was willing to accept the bare minimum – stupid girl!

I invested my time and energy in the wrong place, the wrong person.

The experience changed my outlook and, as cliché as it sounds, made me realise my worth.

You live, you learn, you move on.

As we get older, our perspective, values and priorities change.

These days, I can’t think of anything worse than attempting to flirt (awkwardly) with some Tinder clone. Quite frankly, I’d rather cuddle up at home, alone, with a nice cuppa tea!

At 33, my life certainly isn’t as I imagined or hoped for as a kid. Then again, with age comes the realisation that life rarely turns out as planned.

I’m no longer impressed by aesthetics. Trust me, a pretty face will only get you so far in life.

Above all, what I want is someone to care, unconditionally. Simple as that.

Don’t we all??

Don’t get me wrong, I cherish my alone time and independence, and I’m more than capable of caring for and supporting myself (mentally, anyway).

I’ve endured a fair amount of crap and spent over 90% of my life single. I’m certainly not the type to need a man.

I’m not interested in grand gestures, a lavish lifestyle, fancy house, or gym-bods!

But, for someone to choose you, want you, and stand by you, even when the shit hits the fan – especially when the shit hits the fan! That, to me, means the world.

Me, in my powered wheelchair, looking out to sea

Product Review | Independent Living

I was recently sent a few products to try, by the lovely folk at Manage At Home and PETA [UK] LTD.

The Easi-Grip kitchen items are designed to help older people, and those like me with a disability, prepare and cook food independently.

Easi-Grip Food Preparation Board

Easi-Grip Food Preparation Board
Easi-Grip Food Preparation Board

This stylish food preparation board, made from sustainable Rubberwood, is a multi-purpose, top quality kitchen aid.

I was so impressed with this piece! It is really attractive and doesn’t look at all like a standard disability aid.

Easi-Grip Food Preparation Board
Easi-Grip Food Preparation Board

It is designed for those with weak hand function, including impaired grip, poor hand control and tremors.

Slicing a sweet potato using the multi-purpose Easi-Grip food prep board
Slicing a sweet potato using the multi-purpose Easi-Grip food prep board

Using only one hand, the Easi-Grip board allows you to grate and slice food effortlessly. The spiked area ensures food is kept in place for peeling and cutting.

Easi-Grip Food Preparation Board
Easi-Grip Food Preparation Board

Several essential items all-in-one: Stainless steel fine/coarse graters, slicers, collecting bowl, spiked area, and long-lasting wooden board.

I have muscular dystrophy ~ contractures, poor grip, and very little strength. Despite this, I found the Easi-Grip food prep board really easy to work with, and a huge asset. I no longer need to ask for any help, which is a big deal for me!

My mum, who has osteoarthritis, loves this equally as much as me! Suffering with joint pain and stiffness, she found it significantly easier to use than regular kitchen tools.

Easi-Grip Knives

Easi-Grip Knives 1. Bread knife 2. Carving knife 3. All purpose knife
Easi-Grip Knives 1. Bread knife 2. Carving knife 3. All purpose knife

This popular trio of knives has undergone a recent design revamp – the ergonomic handles are now thicker, making them easier and more comfortable to use.

The bright lime green areas indicate the “soft-feel” non-slip areas, as well as making them a bit more modern and aesthetically appealing compared to standard kitchen knives!

Demonstration of the Easi-Grip knife being used to cut a vegetable on the Easi-Grip food prep board
Demonstration of the Easi-Grip knife being used to cut a vegetable on the Easi-Grip food prep board

I would highly recommend all of these products to anyone, regardless of (dis)ability. They are top quality items and I am so thankful to Manage At Home and PETA [UK] LTD for sending them to me. I love to cook, and these kitchen aids have made life a little easier for me.

*Disclaimer*

This post is in collaboration with Manage At Home and PETA [UK] LTD. The products were gifted to me in exchange for an honest review. Opinions expressed are entirely my own.


Many thanks to Manage At Home and PETA [UK] LTD

Related Blog Posts:

Product Review | Bellavita Bath Lift from Manage At Home

Guest Post | Employing Older Workers

Are Employers Doing Enough to Help with the Wellbeing of Older Workers?

The business world is going through a radical change to workforces right now. According to the Office of National Statistics (ONS), one in four workers in the UK is now aged over 50.

Research commissioned by the Department for Work and Pensions (DWP) found that from 2011 to 2014, the proportion of workers aged 50 and older rose from 21% to 24%. The same ONS survey estimated that, by 2030, the number of people in the UK aged 65 and older will have increased by 50%, while those aged 20 to 30 would see a 4% decline.

This figure may vary depending on a variety of circumstances including the location, industry, policies and more. One thing’s for sure though; these changes will have far-reaching consequences across society, including the workplace.

With this in mind, it’s even more important to acknowledge and invest in supporting the changing workforce. Organisations are now in competition for the best and most experienced staff.

In this article, we explore what this means for businesses. We identify areas where employers can further support their older workers and offer some tips for ensuring their wellbeing.

Older Workers and Wellbeing

Anyone that’s been in employment in the last five to ten years would no doubt have noticed the increased focus on employee wellbeing. It’s the trending buzzword relating to the health and safety of not only the physical but also the mental health of workers.

To keep your workforce happy (and by extension increase productivity), you should consider investing in both physical and mental support.

To achieve this for your older workers, you need to first consider what they need and want in the workplace. Research conducted by CIPD at the Centre for Ageing Better showed that just like younger workers, they’d also like a job that is meaningful, stimulating and sociable.

At the moment, older workers feel less appreciated compared to their younger counterparts. They’d like a job that’s not only flexible but also offers opportunities such as mentoring, training and career progression.

Benefits of Age Diversity

A study by Ageing Better shows employers report greater levels of loyalty, reliability and commitment from their older workers compared with younger colleagues. Their experience in life and in their sector places them in an ideal position to manage themselves and other members of staff.

According to a survey by CIPD, the number one benefit of age diversity in the workplace is knowledge-sharing. They found that 56% of HR decision-makers believe that older workers transfer vital knowledge and skills.

Having a diverse workforce, not only in age but also race, religion and (dis)ability can also help to solve complex work problems. By bringing a mix of ideas, skills, strengths, experiences and backgrounds, you’re ensuring that strengths and weaknesses are balanced.

Finally, because of the estimated increase of over 50 year-olds in the general population in the UK, age diversity in the workplace can help to match the profile of your customers which will, in turn, improve the product or services you offer.

4 Tips for Supporting Older Workers

Be open to flexibility: This is important to workers of all ages. It helps them to create a balance between their work and social life. Specifically, for older workers, it also provides a transition period to retirement. Remember to inform your staff of their right to make flexible working requests.

Mentoring: By allowing your older workers to mentor younger employers, they’re able to pass on their experience, work habits and attitudes towards work.

Training: Some employers are concerned about this investment because they worry that they’re investing in someone who may soon retire. However, it’s worth noting, training these workers means as well as keeping their skills sharp, they’ll be more employable.

Employee Assistance Programmes: As well as retirement benefits, you should also be supporting them while they’re still at your company. Offering employee assistance programmes gives workers access to support that’ll help them deal with personal problems that might impact their work performance or their health and wellbeing.

On top of all this, you should also be conducting regular one-to-one meetings to review their performance, offer feedback and keep on top of any issues.


My thanks to David Price from Health Assured for providing this guest post.