My view on dating for MDUK Trailblazers

My latest blog piece for Muscular Dystrophy UK Trailblazers:

“I’ve learnt that life is not defined by your relationship status and you don’t need a partner to be happy. It doesn’t hurt to keep an eye out though, does it!”

On Dating Diaries Day 2, we hear from Carrie Aimes who talks about why it’s okay to be single.

Read more of her great blog here.

This blog forms part of Trailblazers Dating Diaries, which looks to lift the lid on dating and relationships when having a disability.

I’m not at present in a relationship and that’s fine, that’s okay. I’ve never actively searched for a partner – dating sites in particular just aren’t for me. In fact, dating isn’t for me if I’m honest. Pretty socially awkward at the best of times, the whole dating thing feels far too daunting a prospect. It just seems so forced and unnatural. Of course it serves its purpose and is a means to an end. But knowing myself as I do I think I would just fail miserably!

A fairly solitary character, I like my own space, I like being able to do as I please, when I please. And I most definitely couldn’t bear to share my bed, it’s my haven!

As is the case for many with muscular dystrophy, much of my time is lost to frequent and prolonged bouts of respiratory illness and fatigue, which doesn’t exactly lend itself to dating or a cohabitative relationship.

I live with my parents in their home which is not exactly the dream for a 28 year-old woman. So privacy and finding time for myself is enough of an issue without adding another person to the mix.

Yes it’s the norm for those my age to be settled in relationships or even married, as most of my friends are. Perhaps my choice to remain single for the time being (and it is a choice) is selfish. But why not be selfish. This is my life and right now I’m content with things as they are. Relationships are hard work, they require you to compromise and invest your time and energy. At present, I’m just not willing to share myself with anyone.

This isn’t to say I’m not open to the possibility of meeting someone spontaneously, as I have found tends to be the best way. But if it doesn’t, I’m totally cool with that. I’ve learnt that life is not defined by your relationship status and you don’t need a partner to be happy. It doesn’t hurt to keep an eye out though, does it!

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